Extrovert Highly Sensitive People…finally.

hsp extrovertOne glaring topic I have neglected to cover on this blog is the 30% of HSPs who are extroverts.

The main reason for this omission is because I am not an extrovert. (btw, it can also be spelled extravert). I didn’t feel right writing about a topic with which I wasn’t that familiar.

So, I surveyed several self-identified extroverted HSPs to better understand their trait. Here is what I found.

It seems that extroverted HSPs walk a tightrope between desiring/requiring social interactions and becoming overwhelmed.

[Read more…]

Empathy & Regret at a Spicy Wing Eating Contest

hot wingsJim and I went to an event a few days ago that was holding a spicy wing eating contest.

I was immediately excited because Jim never thinks anything is spicy. I’ve only seen him not eat something spicy once in all the years I’ve known him. (It was a ghost pepper bloody mary.)

I was so excited about it that he pretty much had no choice but to enter the contest.

[Read more…]

Being extra-observant helps with some random things

obserHighly Sensitive People are often extremely observant to details. Today I was thinking about how this manifests itself in some small, quite unimportant ways.

Here are some things I think I’m good at because I am observant to details:

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Are you very polite?

Us HSPs not only have good manners, we often notice when other people’s don’t. If my husband and I are shopping and he asks an associate for help, then I don’t hear him say Thank You, I quietly hiss, “you didn’t say thank you!” (and then I feel bad about being annoying.)

thank you imageOne of my pet peeves is when I am telling a story and someone interrupts me, and then they don’t acknowledge the fact they interrupted me, or they keep talking and let my story remain unfinished. To me, that is incredibly rude and disrespectful. If I interrupt someone, I try to be careful to fix the situation. I’ll finish my thought and then say, “Sorry, I interrupted you–what were you saying?” or, “Please finish your story”, or, I will ask a specific question to show I was listening to their story and, in a small way, apologize for interrupting. [Read more…]

Creativity & You & Me

aron sm quoteA few years ago, never would I have used the word “creative” to describe myself.

Creative people were painters, sculptors, poets, architects, designers. That’s not me.

I grew up thinking that being creative or artistic was sort of a waste of time–creativity wasn’t practical or of real value. Creative people were dreamers. I wanted to be a person who got things done!

Of course, I eventually realized this was a dumb way to think.

[Read more…]

Empathy Pang: The sharpei and his suitcase

Did you see the story yesterday about the shar-pei dog that was abandoned at a train station in Scotland? Look at this:


This headline and photo do me in. Oh man, it hits me right in the heart.

For three reasons.

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The importance of kindred spirits

kindred spiritsThe first time I heard the phrase kindred spirit was from the popular Anne of Green Gables TV series from the mid-1980s, which was adapted from the L.M. Montgomery novels. The character of Anne Shirley used the term kindred spirits to talk about intimate friends, people with whom who she felt she could bare her soul. She held these people dear to her heart and was fiercely loyal to them.

Susan Cain, author of the introvert juggernaut book Quiet, used the phrase kindred spirits in an interview with Marie Forleo a while back. She said–in terms of networking events–that many people think success is walking away with a handful of business cards. For her, she is simply looking for one kindred spirit. There is usually at least one at every party or networking event. These are people with whom you connect and have chemistry. People you want to get to know stay in touch with.

We go through life, collecting kindred spirits–people we feel connected to in our heart.

This rings true for me. [Read more…]

Do you use high sensitivity as a crutch?

hsp crutchI’ve mentioned several times about how my husband Jim has tried to understand my high sensitivity.

At first, he didn’t buy into the idea at all. Slowly, over time, I could tell he was accepting it more. He was able to observe, realtime, my visceral reactions to things that I’d told him about re: HSP. [Read more…]

7 tips for coping with the challenges of high sensitivity

hsp challengesHave you ever said to yourself:

I’m tired of being hurt and let down by other people. How can I be less sensitive?

Maybe you feel like you give a lot to other people but they don’t return your thoughtfulness. You care so much, but others don’t notice. You can’t trust many people because they will inevitably hurt you or let you down. Your empathy weighs heavily on you. It’s all so tiring. How can you deal?

Here are some strategies that may help.

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Wedding planning tips for HSPs & introverts

cupcake towerAt your wedding and reception, you’ll likely be the center of attention among lots of people for many hours, which can be tiring and overwhelming for introverts.

And wedding planning means literally hundreds and hundreds of decisions, which can lead to overwhelm for an HSP.

Decisions like: who to invite, invitations, a color scheme, the caterer, the menu, gift registry, music, the bouquet, centerpieces, photographer, videographer, bartender, bridesmaids & groomsmen, hotel reservations, travel arrangements, the cake, dress, rings, vows, shoes, hair, makeup, nails, rehearsal dinner, seating arrangements, toasts, thank you letters. And the honeymoon. [Read more…]