Sorry if This is a Bit Dark: Hating my Sensitivity
Warning: This is a bit dark.
I hate that I’m highly sensitive. I wish I was normal. I wish I wasn’t bothered by so many small things. I wish I could just be happy instead of always wishing things were better.
And these feelings make me angry at myself. Why do I have to complain so much? Why can’t I just suck it up and deal with small annoyances? Why can’t I just relax and have fun? Why are things so hard for me and easy for everyone else?
Sometimes I think the only thing that pulls me back is having someone in my life who knows me and loves me and can remind me that I’m okay. I don’t know if I’d be strong enough by myself.
If you ever feel self-loathing, clue in someone close to you about your sensitivity. Maybe it’s a friend, sibling, or parent–hopefully someone who seems like they might understand. Explain to them that you have needs that are different from other people and that you are trying to better shape your life (find a “stasis of peace”) to make yourself happier. Get them to understand you a bit better, and maybe they can be there for you when you are feeling down about yourself.
Don’t let yourself fall into a spiral of self-loathing and depression. Because, as an HSP, you are prone to over-thinking things. You need someone to remind you that you are great. Really. You are!
More advanced level HSPs (said with tongue-in-cheek) value their sensitivity. They appreciate how it makes them more in touch with other people. Your sensitivity might make you a great listener and a great friend.