I’ve never been able to shop with other people. Especially when someone is waiting for me. Just the idea of it sounds awful.
There have been times when my husband and I are at the mall, and I need to buy something, and he’s in a generous mood and tells me to “take my time.” Then I’ll get excited and start browsing the racks, but within a couple minutes, I can’t help but feel a weight on me… the weight of someone who is waiting for me.
Even though he told me it was ok, and to take my time, I just feel bad making someone wait. Usually, I look around for just a couple minutes, and then say, “screw it.” and leave the store. I can’t do it.
Then, I’ll meet back up with my husband and I grouch, “I can’t shop when you are waiting for me!”
He says, “But I told you to take your time! You can’t blame this on me!”
Me: “I know. I can’t help it. I just can’t shop when someone is waiting for me. It’s not your fault.”
How is this an HSP thing? HSPs take longer than most to make decisions. We weigh every possible piece of information. So making a purchase can take me a long time because I have to think about everything. And having even the smallest feeling of having to rush the decision just wrecks it all for me. I can’t do it if I feel one bit rushed.
Anyone else feel like they can’t shop when people are waiting for you?
haha, and then you take ME shopping with you? 😉
Hahaha!!! I was anxious beforehand, but since our main mission was shopping, I didn’t feel bad about it like I normally do. Plus, you are a professional. 😉
I’m exactly the same! I never thought of this as being a trait of high sensitivity, but it makes perfect sense. Now, when a friend invites me to go shopping, I never really look to buy anything – I just see it as a form of socialising. When I’m shopping because I truly need something, I go alone.
Excatly!!! Totally me!!! OMG!
Oh yeah. Right now I’m single and I love that I rarely have people waiting for me when I’m shopping. It takes me forever to shop. It took a month to pick out a fridge. I don’t know what would have happened if someone had been waiting for me. On the upside, in those instances I’m shopping with family, I keep it short and simple. Instead of being disappointed I may not have gotten to peruse a potential extra purchase (basically indulging myself a little) I pat myself on the back because I saved money and didn’t buy something that might have just taken up unnecessary space later.
Brilliant post, Kelly. If I will feel rushed for any reason, I postpone going to a fun store so I can savor the browsing/decision making pleasure (alone!) New masthead? Nice.
OMG! This is SO me! I can’t shop when somebody is waiting for me, so when I really need to buy clothes (something I basically hate) I always go alone! I can however wait for other people while they are shopping and that’s okay. But I feel terrible when I know somebody is waiting for me, and also stressed by the fact that I can’t take all the time I need to decide!
Thank you! I am not alone, hahaha. 🙂
When I go with others, their tasks got done and mine didn’t because I take longer to ponder. My very best friends used to be sorta upset that I didn’t buy anything, they were perfectly willing to wait but I can take months, years to think on a big purchase, but when I decide…boom. There it is, I might load the car in one trip. Thanx for sharing, I do enjoy it so.
I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY! Friends ask me to shop with them so they have a second opinion but I cant do it! NOPE! I would much rather shop alone, if Im with someone, ANYONE, I get so nervous & anxious, worried that Im taking too long & what are they feeling/thinking about me, etc…I just cant do it!!!!!!@#$%^&*
HAHA this is SO ME. My poor fiancé always has to deal with this – sometimes I force myself to buy something, because I’ll feel bad that he feels bad that I felt bad making him wait. You know? Haha.
Hah! I totally get that!
I always shop alone. ALWAYS. zero pressure.
Ha ha. I feel free if I go alone. Shopping is a process for me. Sometimes the first day I´m only taking a look, the second day I´m thinking at home what´s the best decision and the third day I go to the shop again or not. It would be bored for others to wait for me and I couldn´t choose so freely.
For me, I need to browse through the whole store even if I end up not buying anything at all. But my husband is the type that goes into the store, find what he needs and be out of there. It bugs me because I feel like I didn’t get a chance to look around and I might miss something. I also hate it when we go to the the store 30 mins before it closes even if we just need something really quick. I just don’t like the feeling of not having enough time or feeling rushed.
100% yes!!! agree!!
Yes! I feel exactly the same !!!
very tearfully me. I sometimes arrive at a meeting point 5 hours before the person I am meeting arrives because they have been late. I have rushed off a cash point without my money too – but being aware now is help me orgnise my thoughts a bit better
This resonates with me. In fact, I do this to preserve friendships – socialising ‘shopping’ is separated from my ‘personal’ alone-shopping time. Also, in a culture of too many choices and coupon incentives (American Culture), this gets worse for an HSP since we are creative and go through agony sometimes making decisions which needs to be both budget-friendly and creative. But after reading the book, “Paradox of Choice” by Barry Shwartz, I have learned to take decisions based on “good enough”, “what’s more important”, “time as a limited resource” , “time currency versus dollar currency” …to get in and out of the store with less mind-stress. Hope this helps
that sounds so smart! “good enough”, “what’s more important”, “time as a limited resource” , “time currency versus dollar currency” — I really like this! Thanks for sharing.
Not only when shopping.
I just hate waiting, and I’m VERY uncomfortable when someone is waiting for me.
Even if I go for a run, I do it alone. Like that, I don’t need to run faster or slower for someone else.
OMG. This is 100% me. I’ve finalky found out why I am the way I am. Soap helpful and I do t feel so guilty
I often buy things I don’t like because I can’t stand them having to wait while I make a decision. As much as I enjoy the social activity of shopping together, when I am truly shopping and not window shopping, I like going alone.
OMG! I am so glad I decided to google this! I can not shop with another person. It stresses me out to the point I get hyper jumpy and can not hold a thought in my head. Thank you all for sharing!
OMG! Yes!!! I hate shopping for things with other people. I feel bad “wasting” their time. I also feel terrible when my mom takes me shopping for not only that, but she wants to pay for things and I feel so awkward. I am trying to make decisions that won’t seem too expensive, but she won’t give me a true price range or limit. It makes it so difficult even though she is really being very sweet to me.
I also hate having to be places at certain times (even more so when going with someone to said place). The expectations, decisions on what to wear, the deadline, rushing, etc. Ugh!
Oh my, I am so grateful I found this and that I’m not the only one. Yes to everything.