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In this introductory episode, I discuss the question, “What is a highly sensitive person”… and also what they are NOT.
The goal of this podcast is to help other people realize if they are highly sensitive, that they aren’t alone, and they aren’t weird or wrong!
I also cover the difference between introversion and high sensitivity, some benefits of being an HSP, and why high sensitivity isn’t something you have; it’s something you are.
Resources mentioned in Episode 1:
- The Highly Sensitive Person book by Dr. Elaine Aron is a must-read for highly sensitive people.
- Are you an HSP? Take the test on Dr. Elaine Aron’s website.
Are you new to learning about highly sensitive people? Start with these posts:
Hello Kelly!
Great to hear your very pleasant voice. I have laughed at the point where you told that you have done more than 5 recordings to get a kind of a perfect version for the first podcast ;-))) Could have been also me 😉
As always I have updated my German friends in our HSP-community regarding your podcast:
http://www.xn--treffpunkt-hochsensibilitt-4hc.de/11590502nx46300/nuetzliche-links-zu-anderen-seiten-die-sich-mit-hs-und-den-damit-verbundenen-themen-beschaeftigen-f16/kelly-is-blogging-englisch-t6053.html
Kelly, great work and keep on podcasting :-)))
Hear from you soon, 1753
1753, thanks so much for sharing my blog and podcast with your German friends! I have definitely seen some traffic coming from that page, so that is appreciated. I am glad you like the podcast!! 🙂
I loved your podcasts.. Just listened to 2. I have battled multiple episodes of burnout and overwhelm for years and have been going in circles with psychological therapy especially the last 2 years with no end in sight. I am constantly told that I am too reactive to my environment. What I now realize is that I am definitely an HSP and need tools and techniques of self-care… And that I am not broken and mentally deficient. I have a great sense of relief and actually have a plan now to implement… Started few days ago….. And feel more confident and hopeful as my self esteem has plummeted as the burnout got to the point where I have had to put my own business on hold and I have been chasing my tail especially the last two years. So thank you…. Looking forward to implementing all I have learnt and turn my life around!
I am introvert and HSP!
Girl, how I enjoyed this podcast. It was great to put a voice with the words! I think you did a fantastic job and I will definitely be tuning in each week.
I just started my own blog chronicling my life as an HSP and would love if you could check it out. Your blog has been so helpful to me and I’m excited to start sharing my experiences as well. 🙂
Thanks, Ry! I’m so glad you liked it. Congrats on taking steps toward a career that works for you! I enjoyed your post and look forward to reading more on your blog. Looks great!!
Hi,Kelly.
I am a fan of your podcast from South Korea. Well, it sounds little bit strange. But since I am also a highly sensitive person(I guess), I enjoy your story and voice. And also it is a perfect way to improve my english as well! Whenever I listened to some episodes, I could figure out I am not the only one who thinks like this or that..
Anyway, thanks always =)
Hi Bella! Thanks for your comment. It is cool to think the podcast is helping people all over the world. 😀 Thank you for listening!
I saw the date on the pod cast. You’ve started this at a rather fortuitous time for me. I’ve known for a while that I am an INFJ but I was diagnosed with PTSD recently and my therapist, after watching me struggle with the noises around his office, told me that he strongly suspected that I am an HSP. Took the test. Yup. I think I needed to hear your podcast and know that there are actually people like me out there. When I first read all the stuff about HSP I actually got really upset and cried and beat myself up a good bit because I felt this contributed to my PTSD.
Thank you for sharing this.
Hi Stephanie, I’m glad to hear the podcast helped you. Yes, there are a LOT of us out there! I hope you don’t beat yourself up any more, and you continue/start a path to healing and accepting yourself! I’m glad you are here.
Hi Kelly, just wanted to thank you for what you share with us, this is very helpful. It is a while that I learned I am a HSP. I even have the HSP book you mentioned, although I couldn’t go through all of that because for me the font of the print is too small! and as a non-native English speaker I found the book a bit hard to follow. However, I searched about the subject a lot and I am trying to understand and help myself. I will continue to listen to your posts and will contact you later again. I would appreciate it if you could give me your opinion about how to cope with neighbor noises? this bothers me a lot. My neighbors make noise each night till very late like 3-4 am and this makes me so upset and sometimes angry. I try to keep calm but this is really hard. My husband is not a HSP and he can sleep with that noise, this makes me feel bad because then I know if I was not HSP then the life was much more easier and basically this is a problem to be HSP! Please let me know if you know any practical strategy for solving the noise problem. Many thanks and please keep posting. Maryam
Hi Maryam, thank you for your comment, I’m so glad you like the podcast. Regarding neighbor noise….that is a TOUGH one. Fortunately, I have not had to deal with that much. Last year, my husband and I rented an apartment for a month when we were traveling, and we were right next to an OUTDOOR KARAOKE BAR!!!! It drove me crazy (my husband didn’t even notice the noise!), but the only thing that helped was knowing we were only there for a month. Have you tried talking to your neighbors about their noise? If they still make noise after that, you could call the police, but of course that would make tension between you. I have read a lot of stories from people who have issues with neighbor noise and unfortunately these are the two routes they most often take–talking to the neighbor or calling the police. You could also invest in a pair of noise-canceling headphones and wear them when they are being noisy. Also, try playing white noise (I use simplynoise.com).
Kelly,
I’m almost finished marathoning your podcast and I just have to say – THANK YOU!!!! Your life is also the story of my life. As I listen to each episode, it’s like hearing my own biography. It is such a relief to know there are a lot of people like me, that I’m not crazy or weak or broken in some way. Over the past few months, I have taken a number of steps toward self-acceptance & understanding, and I feel like your podcast is validation for all of it. Everything you say speaks to me – the introversion, need for creativity, problems with jobs – I’m not quite 28 and I’ve had 20 different jobs in my life! You’ve helped me to finally realize that what my husband has been telling me for a while is indeed right for me: I need to be at home. I love being a homemaker & excel in this role, as I am a hyper-organized & detail-oriented HSP. And I’ve always been in love with words. I live to write. And yet I’ve repressed the urge for a long time or not followed through on completing projects. You’ve given me the push I need to finally commit to being a true writer. At the end of May I’ll be launching a blog about my journey to optimal health, including ways I’m coping with being an HSP.
I have to comment on a number of things you’ve mentioned in various episodes. My reactions to drugs are extreme like yours. I cannot take any type of antihistamine as it immediately knocks me out. Caffeine not only makes me bounce but also has an extreme diuretic effect. And alcohol – just forget it, half a glass of Arbor Mist and I’m done. My pain threshold is also extremely low. have major problems with certain sounds/noises. Whistling & bass in music physically hurt me. Bass can put me in tears within seconds. Certain voices/pitches/frequencies also hurt – I often have to switch radio stations quickly. I have an extreme startle response. I also share your feelings about politeness & just feeling deeply & passionately about things non-HSPs (like my husband) wouldn’t spend an ounce of energy thinking about. I have 2 dogs who are my children, and I experience anticipatory grief about them both. They are my heart & I love them so deeply it hurts. I’m with you also on movies – I can’t do scary or gory, but I also have major issues with embarrassment. Sitcoms are problematic for me for that reason. Like you, I avoid events with big crowds & lots of social interaction. It’s incredibly draining. I would much rather spend a quiet evening with just my husband or a close friend, which, like you, I only have a couple of.
Thank you again for writing this blog & doing the podcast. It’s a brave thing to do, as we HSPs are especially vulnerable people.
Hi Krista, wow, thank you for such a sweet comment! We sound so similar!! I am thrilled that you are taking the leap to a writing career! I think we should all go after what we want (career-wise) and try it out–because regret is the worst! Good luck and thank you for reading/listening!! Thanks again; you made my day.
Kelly,
I just discovered I’m an HSP a few days ago, but I’ve run into a really frustrating road block when I try to tell my close family and friends about it: They all think they are HSPs too!
Its so hard to explain to people that “No, just because you’re sensitive about this and that, does not mean you are an HSP”. So by everyone all the sudden jumping on the bandwagon, so to speak, it really invalidates my experience.
I come from a very conservative background where traditional gender roles are encouraged and the norm. As you might imagine, explaining that I’m an HSP just gets watered down to, “Well that’s just women for ya”. Arrrrg! To be honest, most of the HSPs I know are women, but that being said most of the women I know are NOT HSPs!
Do you run into these same problems as well? How do you handle it gracefully?
Thanks,
B
Hi B! Interesting question! Well, if other people want to think they are HSP when you think they are actually misunderstanding the trait, I’m not sure there’s much you can say about it. You can’t exactly say, “No, you’re wrong! You’re not highly sensitive!” because it kinda sounds like you belong to a club that you don’t want them to belong to. You know what I mean? Wait, I have an idea. Have they taken Elaine Aron’s test? Send them to take the test! http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/
As for the sexist stuff, you can tell them that HSPs are equally divided between men and women. Ask them to tell you their definition of the word “sensitive”. Then you can correct them by saying that the word “sensitive” doesn’t mean you cry a lot and get hurt feelings. It means you are conscientious and observant. But then again, you probably aren’t going to change the mind of the type of people who say “that’s just women” anyway, so…pick yer battles!! 🙂
Hi Kelly,
I’m a woman and happy to discover your podcast which help a lot !
I write you from France, where highly sensitivity is not really known, even in the medical community (it’s horrible to talk with doctors who don’t know nothing about the subject, or look at you like a sick person)
I also noticed that narcissistic pervert (NP) are very attracted by HSP, and I met a lot of them, women and men. Really, I’m fade up of that ! I’m tired.
The last one, I met her one week ago. A woman who said that she’s also HSP, but I noticed that she’s exactly the contrary : malicious, deceitful, insensitive, superficial, in the judgment …
she tried to destabilize me … I stopped everything with her.
I’m like honey for this kind of persons. And really, I’m sad because I don’t find friends who understand me, even if I know, I’m sure that there are many people like me. But I don’t find them for the moment …
Fortunately, my mother and brother understand me !
I have a question : how may I avoid these kind of people ?
What can I say when I meet them ? Because I realize the problem but I dont’ know how to behave … I just want to be aggressive in that case, but I know that is not good, then I keep silent. I don’t know how to behave slowly but certainly.
Thank you.
S
If you call them out on it, it could give them a better insight on how to better manipulate HSPs. If you come across these people, do not interact with them. If you do, you’ll be most likely setting yourself for more harm than good. If you can, walk away from them and do not contact them. Block them if you can. They love the attention you give them, so the less attention you offer, the less interested they will be.
I am a mom who is very concerned about my 26 year old son. He is a great guy, very caring and good natured. At 18 he stopped going to community college and pretty much locked himself in his room when his dad past away. It took one year but I was able to encourage him to go back to school…which he did for his AA degree. Being a single parent he came to live with me right when he completed school. It has been almost 3 years now that he has been living with me and I am very concerned about him having to much alone time. Up until the time he came to live with me I never considered him to be HSP. He was very social, outgoing, lots of friends, a normal boy growing up in the U.S. It wasn’t until he came back from college that I saw the typical characteristics of HSP. How does someone change so quickly. Isn’t HSP a way of being that you are born with and not something that is aquired. He works in the film industry and is very responsible with his job but unfortunately those jobs are only for short periods of time until the movie wraps…then he needs to start looking again. It is the times when he is not working that has me concerned because he does not socialize with anyone other than myself, my daughter (his sister) and her finance. He visits them about once a week and loves to visit with their dogs too. He has no interest in making friends or finding a girlfriend. He had many friends in high school and in college, and was very social with his peers. It just seems to me like he is resigned now from life. How can I influence or motivate him to move forward in life with love so he gets excited to do things. I hate to watch him waste away his youth doing nothing but playing in video tournaments when he is not working.
Hi Angel, thank you for your comment. I recommend speaking to a trained mental health professional or therapist. The things you listed about your son are not necessarily traits of high sensitivity. Yes, he may be an HSP, but that doesn’t explain why he doesn’t leave his room or have interest in other activities. There are deeper issues, like maybe depression, that should be examined with the help of a professional. I’m so sorry you are hurting. You are clearly trying to do the best for him and he is lucky to have you.
Hi Kelly! Thank you for creating this podcast and website! I also (unsurprisingly) identify as an HSP. For me, the BEST thing about finding information about HSPs and hearing the experience of other HSPs continually helps me feel validated, normalized, that I’M NOT SO CRAZY and THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME for being “sensitive.” 🙂 Hallelujah! It is relieving to a) find out, and b) be reminded, that there’s nothing I can do to change the initial response I have to certain things. I don’t mean that it is helpful to be a victim about it, because clearly that’s not true. But hellll ya it feels good to know I am not just being a “baby.” I just am who I am. It’s my job to manage it, and it can also be helpful to inform my non-HSP comrades if they are open to meet me in the middle. <3 Thank you again!
thank for the kind comment!! 🙂