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Emotional cutting is reading or watching things that hurt us emotionally…but we keeping doing them anyway. I do this when I look at dog rescues on Facebook that show when animals were saved or euthanized.
Why do I, and other HSPs, seek out this pain? Even though it hurts, sometimes makes me cry, and can take a long time to recover from, I still do it. Do I, deep down, want the pain?
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Related posts on this blog:
- Emotional cutting: Reading things that make me sad
- HSP Podcast #10: HSPs & Animals
- Compassion Fatigue
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Podcast music attribution: By the Coast (2004) (Antony Raijekov) / CC BY-NC 2.5
Hello, I feel the same way. I feel compelled to watch the news or listen to talk radio and have a tendency to get upset. Intellectuality I think I should be able to handle it and should know about whats going on in the world, but I have too much empathy and I get upset easily. Usually the issues I worry about I have no power to change. The news media uses fear, anger and us vs them conflict to generate interest and as a news topic. I try to avoid the news media and news talk when I can to avoid that negativity.
Hello Kelly, how are you?
Thanks for this great episode that hits home again. I decided to stop watching or reading things that hurt me deeply.
My first step is to get off social media as much as I can. Then, I’ll figure the next step.
It’s so good to feel that we are not alone 🙂
Hi Sandra, thanks for the comment! I’m glad you liked the episode. I should probably use social media less, too. That’s something I need to work on.
Hi Kelly,
I belief that reading or watching things of which you know that they will make you sad, does not mean that you subconsciously like the pain. I suggest that it may have to do with issues that are so important to you, that you accept that emotional pain has to be felt in witnessing them. And maybe, at the same time, the emotional pain also functions as the sign that this is indeed an important issue to you.
I for instance do not like the hurt that comes from watching sad news, but I feel that in a way I am taking responsibility in assuring that the occurrence has been witnessed by someone.
If I put this view on the example of the Chihuahua you quote in your podcast: maybe you don’t want that dog to die without anybody caring about its life and death? I think it may bear a resemblance to the motivation of people who go to funerals of the deceased that have no one left. These people do not necessarily like graveyards, dead bodies, grieving or other emotional pain associated with funerals, but they feel that there should be at least someone at the deceased’s funeral. It is a matter of being there, caring and witnessing. Feeling the sadness that this deceased person had no one left is a part of that.
Of course every person has to set its own limits: too much contact with sad news will leave us paralyzed. It is not my place to tell anyone how to handle such situations. For now i am still watching sad news (within limits) because i keep asking myself: What if all the people who cared would look away?
Great work on the podcasts, And good luck to everyone facing this issue.
This is such a good point, thank you for sharing. You have explained something I could not. I may have to update this post!
Hi Kelly.
Thank you for sharing your feelings with other people.
I found your website by coincidence, I live in Madrid (Spain) and despite sometimes my English is not good enough to understand every single Word you say. Your podcats are really good for me because I’m discovering that there are more people who feels like me and I’m not weird as many other people believe.
Related to this podcast I have the same problem when I read something deep, a couple of weeks ago I read a blog of an aquitance of mine. I thought it was a blog related to trips but it was not exactly that. I read the real story of Dani Abraham, I Little boy who lives in an orphanage of Ethiopia. I couldn’t stop to read the story, it was beautiful and sad, the tears were running to my face while I was reading and it took me a couple of weeks to recover my emotions. That day I learnt that I have to set boundaries for my self because the pain is to much. So thank you for sharing that you have feelings in the same way that I have.
Thank you, Pilar! Yes, it is important to set boundaries for your emotions so you don’t end up feeling other people’s pain too much. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Kelly! I just wanted to write to you to say how much I’m enjoying these shows. A friend (who is also HSS) recommended to me, & I’ve started back at #1, and have now reached this point.
It’s so good to have a name for this way of being, and that others are the same too. I keep finding myself nodding in agreement and smiling to myself at the stuff you mention, as it’s exactly like what I am too!
Keep up all your excellent work, and well done again with the excellent podcast and blog 🙂
Hi Steve, thanks so much for the kind comment! I appreciate it! It makes me feel great to know it’s helpful to you. :))
Thank you for this podcast. I never thought of myself as an HSP. I now think that I’ve always had HSP characteristics. So far, I have reaonated with everything I’ve heard in your podcast, especially this one. Thank you for your wonderful podcasts!
I’m so glad you found them helpful!! 🙂 Thanks for the comment!
I attribute it to the high sensation seeking part of my HSP, and culture in which tells us to “know what’s happening”. I love the flood of neurotransmitters that are released during a moment like this, but eventually, my HSP steps in and says “That’s enough!”
However, since becoming more hedonistic and pleasure seeking, practicing self love (thank you Christopher Ryan!), engaging in deep meditative states even to the point of reaching an ego death, dream interpretation, and changing my diet to ketogenic diet, and eating more often (ketogenic) has helped balance me out tremendously!
Much of my moodiness and obsessions over negative things was actually coming from not listening to my body crying out for help, or just not being able to. So, it could have been misdirected HSS due to a lack of outlet, and it’s also been found that by suppressing pleasure, you create a desire for violence, or an obsession and a pseudo interest in it!
At 3:30 I had to stop because picturing the puppy in my head made me bawl.