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Recently, I found myself at a big family party. Even though I liked everyone there, and was happy to be there, it did remind me how hours-long parties can wear on me, no matter how much I like the people there.
This episode includes my tips on how to deal with overwhelm at long parties.
Related content on this blog:
- Handling Criticism (Episode 38)
- Enjoy parties for the first time ever…take 2 cars!
- A blog post where I grump about not doing well at a party
Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
I loved the part about playing with the pets. I SO do that to get through awkward parties. Love the show, Kelly!
Thank you, Kellie!!
Hi Kelly,
I came across your site looking for some answers to the problems of my spouse. Based on my research, he is a textbook HSP and as a non HSP, it has been very challenging to say the least, listening to his complaints about work non stop. To me, he is too sensitive and takes things too personally. It seems to me he reads into what others say way too deep and beats himself over it. I honestly just want to tell him to toughen up and not everyone cares the way he does, but I know it’s his personality and I have to listen to his complaints everyday. I often feel I am his emotional garbage bin where he can take out all his stresses in. Can you please write a topic regarding how to deal with a HSP as a partner? My patience is wearing thin. Thanks!
Hello Sunshine, this is a great topic…how have I not thought of this? Thank you for sharing!!
I think that sometimes we really just want to be heard. It may sound stupid, but if something is bothering us, we just want someone to hear it and acknowledge it. We aren’t necessarily looking for a solution, but we just want someone to share in the experience with us for a moment. This is not necessarily solely an HSP thing.
Hi Kelly,
I’m a 16 year old teenager living in India and I cannot express the debt of gratitude that I owe you for making me love myself at the time when there’s really no one of my own age to understand me. I spend a majority of my day away from home in school,classes and sometimes come home at 9:30pm. I just wish I could just go to school and come home and keep to myself in a room. I must admit that when I told my parents that I am different from those around me because I’m an HSP and its actually a acknowledging trait existent in only 20% of the world population,they really supported me and are very proud of me.
Anyway,getting to the point. I have been going through a lot of changes the past few months. New school,more expectations,more and more studying, more choices to make in little time,stress,separation from old friends,new classmates,more responsibility,and many more unexplainable things. Now that I am in a completely different environment sadly, I have become that girl in the class who has no friends, to whom no one talks to, whom people think is very dumb, who has become a loner, who is just mentally dumped by everyone. That is why I never look forward to going to school or even stepping out of the house. People around me have become so ignorant of my existence that I sometimes wish that I could go to the past and change some of the choices me and my parents made that made me end up here. My Mom tries to encourage me by saying that none of those people deserve to be my friend but it doesn’t really improve my mood. My parents have really spent and are spending a lot of money behind my education and I don’t want to let them down by giving up. It’s just that…. okay,I’ll try to put it in simple words, I don’t find encouragement,positivity, and happiness in the daily things that I have to do because of those around me. I don’t mean to blame them. It’s just that I wish they would know my value and respect that because I am a great friend,I really am. All these years the people whom I have been friends with have really flourished because of me,they always tell me that they have become more sincere and more responsible because of me. Even their parents acknowledge me that their children are in the right direction because of me and this makes me feel so happy. Unfortunately I can’t change anything right now and I have to face these discouraging situations for the next two years,until I get into college.
I just want to make sure that the decisions that I will make for my college life and even my career are correct and I will be more than satisfied and it would be so great if you could help me. Because after all you never know whether a decision is actually correct until after it’s been carried out.
I will really appreciate it,Kelly if you take the time to read this and give some advice. I have now considered you as my sister and even my friend.
Thank you so much!!
P.S. I just love to listen to your shows during my free time.
Please reply.
Hello Sayoni, thank you so much for the nice comment and I’m glad you like the blog & podcast. 🙂 These are some difficult questions you are asking and since I am not a trained therapist I have to always recommend that it is a good idea to see a professional to help you through these issues. I can say, that while reading your comment, I could relate to some things you said. For example: knowing that you are a good friend and a good person–so why don’t other people realize that? I have had this feeling, too (and I felt embarrassed about it!) What your mom said is good advice, I think: “those people don’t deserve to be your friend”. Sometimes when I have these dark thoughts, I *have* to tell myself that I’m better than those people. I know it sounds weird! but instead of letting myself put myself down and hate myself, I make myself do the opposite–I think: maybe I *am* better than them. If other people can’t see what a good friend I am, then I don’t want to be friends with them anyways. This is maybe not the best way to deal, but it is a coping mechanism. (By the way, it is so great that you parents are supportive that you are HSP.)
Can I say, it makes me emotional when you say that this site/podcast has helped you love yourself when no one understands you. That makes me so happy, because it is my goal.
When you are saying mean things to yourself–criticizing yourself in your head–just think, “would I say this to other people?” You might be being a little too hard on yourself. You deserve to be gentle to yourself. Give yourself as many chances as you would give other people.
It is very difficult when you feel like you don’t have any friends. You do have your parents, and while that may seem like little comfort (when you are 16 you want to feel like you have friends and are popular) but your parents are supportive and love you, and that is great. Maybe it will take some time to find people who “get” you. Just know that you are not the only person who feels this way. Also remember that everything you need is inside you–you can’t depend on other people to make you happy. You WILL find other people out there who get you and can be your kindred spirit eventually. 🙂 In the meantime, know that you are amazing and awesome, smart, kind, and have something special in you that deserves to be shared with the world.
It took me a long time to figure out why I see myself more as an extrovert yet being at parties wears me out unbelievably – so many thanks for this podcast 🙂
Because I am an ex-smoker myself I know this trick from before: after some time at the party, I go to the balcony to hang out with the smokers. There it’s usually dark, no music, with fewer people, who stand still, talk silently because of the neighbours and conversations are usually more intimate. No one notices or cares that I do not smoke myself either.