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Have you ever thought about just quitting your job because you were overwhelmed? Throwing in the towel because you had too much to do, and couldn’t get it all done?
Did you ever think about caring less?
That’s a pretty radical concept for us HSPs. It goes against everything we feel. We’re generally loyal, hard workers who care deeply about what we do. But our conscientiousness can bleed over into perfectionism, and when we can’t meet our impossible standards, we’d sometimes rather quit than underperform.
In episode 6 of the HSP Podcast, I talk about how caring less can make your job more bearable….and won’t hurt you as much as you might think.
Or read the written version of this episode at Quiet Revolution.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- The Highly Sensitive Person book by Dr. Elaine Aron
Related Posts on This Blog:
- The Importance of Caring Less at Your Office Job
- Jobs and Careers for HSPs
- Jobs and Careers for HSPs…revisited
- Here’s the best job for a highly sensitive person
- Products to Make Your Cubicle a Little More Bearable
- I Tear Up at Performance Reviews at Work
- Mental Self-Flagellation: When I Screw Up, No One is Madder than Me
- All the Battles I Fought When I Worked in a Cubicle
- My Goal is to Take Down Bright Lights in the Workplace
- Don’t Stand Over Me While I’m Working
Thanks so much for posting this. I definitely have this issue at work as a HSP and will try this new technique out to care less. It is counterintuitive to my nature, but I think it would really help me stress a LOT less at work. Thank you again!
Cool, I’m so glad it was helpful!! 🙂
wow this summed me up to a tee. A LOT of workplaces are “hostile environments” with poor management, low morale and plenty of slackers…this feels nearly impossible for me to tolerate, which is why I’m usually self employed. I have never been able to understand how a person could slave away at a job where they’re being treated horribly, and stay there for YEARS. Even if nobody is treating me poorly, just witnessing other people being singled out and demeaned is practically intolerable.
Any tips on not allowing the “who cares” attitude swing too far? I tend to be “all in” if I put in the effort and if I decide to have the “who cares” attitude, I really don’t care and don’t do a good job… it’d be nice to be able to still do a good job without caring quite so much!
thank you for the podcast! I’ll be checking out more of your site!
Kelly, i just found your site a few days ago and wow, this describes me to a tee! You’re so right, i am definetly so loyal to a job that doesnt really give a rats behind about me, its ridiculous, so you’re right, just care- less! The good thing is that my job does need me, i know i am replaceable, everyone is, but not many people can get a long with my team, i really love my team, but the rest of the company is draining, there are a few key people who i have to deal with but are hard to talk to. That is the problem with me, i have kind of severed some relationships, and may not be salvageable, but i have to associate with them, but its so hard for me. I really wasn’t sure i wanted to quit, my son was sick and i had to take time off, now i am ready to go back to work, but i am nervous to go back to that environment, i heard about some changes that have happened and hopefully things have gotten better, i will just have to stick with it, the pay is worth it to me and i dont have many options right now
Great post. A good reminder to worry less and not be as much of a perfectionist. This is not easy for a HSP! But doing our best is all that can be expected and I need to accept that more and not put so much pressure on myself.
Thanks for this wonderful podcast. I have been feeling so stressed out with my major and about the difficulties that have come in my way. I will try to care less about being perfect with my schoolwork and demand less of myself this coming semester before I decide if I really do want to change my major or not.
You are welcome! I am so happy this has helped you 🙂
I genuinely mean it when I say that this article has changed my life. I’ve started writing on my wrist ‘who cares?’ And it has made such a difference to my outlook at work & how I feel about everything. Thank you x
Wow, that is awesome! The phrase “who cares” has made a big difference to me, too. I know it sounds negative to some people, but some of us NEED to hear it because we care too much!! So happy to hear this post made a difference to you!!!
Hello! Thank you for your website! It is awesome. I care far too much at times and need to put things into proportion!
Wow, it’s crazy how much I can resonate with this topic. I am travelling and working for a couple of months in Australia. I started working at a start-up company and I was really trying to prove myself and trying to be available 24-7. I started complaining to my mom about how overwhelming it was. I just wanted to be perfect at this job. Luckily, my mom made me realise that I should be able to enjoy my traveling experience and not work my ass off and being stressed out by a job that is just for a couple of months and which I will not be making my career off. Listening to your podcast made me realise this once again. For me it is really hard to care less, because I am such a perfectionist and (as you know) hate making mistakes. I feel so responsible. But I am gonna try to do my best (at caring less) and I’m gonna ask to work 30hours instead of 38hours (which always becomes 45-50h a week).
Hi Robin, I’m so glad this episode was helpful to you. Learning to care less has helped me a lot in general 🙂
I have recently learned that I am an HSP. Today I stumbled across your Podcast and let’s just say it resonated hugely. Your comments/thoughts/advices absolutely connected with what I feel. Very very helpful. Thank you
so glad it helped you!! 🙂 thanks for the comment!
I listened to this podcast about a week ago but it was only today that I realized how much I need this advice for everyday life. This kind of ties into the ‘free of decision-making’ podcast too. I’ve known I was an HSP for a long time but SO many of the topics you bring up on your podcast have resonated with me and are aspects of life I never connected to being an HSP but now make perfect sense. I don’t consider myself a perfectionist but I realize that I agonize over decisions related to what is most important to me. For example, I have a bunch of cats and they are my world. I am constantly questioning if their food is good enough, and worrying they don’t like it. I worry constantly that they are bored or unhappy. It’s pretty ridiculous when I think about it because overall, I’m giving them an incredible life. So for me, while caring less about the pets might sound awful, it’s what I need to do for my own sanity! Otherwise I let these decisions and anxiety take over my entire life. I am someone who always has to research something before making a decision. This might seem good but the problem is that there is no end to the research and it usually just makes me more indecisive and then more overwhelmed. In the end I avoid making the decision altogether from paralysis! I need to remember that most decisions are nowhere near life or death, and are actually pretty insignificant in the big picture. Thanks for this podcast – it is helping me in so many ways!
Hi Jessica, your comment makes me happy! I can totally relate to a lot of things you said. Caring less has helped me a lot in life!! I need to get ever better at it, though. Best regards! 🙂
Great podcast. I actually took this approach as I have a very stressful job and my blood pressure was shooting to the roof. I needed the income though. I fought my brain and stopped really caring at all. I do my best and just leave it there. I have become more effective. I no longer wasted time on what if scenarios. It took time but it has gotten me through a period I would have never survived before. It’s worth a try for anyone struggling