Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
I am highly sensitive to violence and horror. I learned early in life that I don’t want anything to do with scary movies. Friends would sometimes tease me and try to convince me to watch, thinking it was not a big deal. But having disturbing scenes burned into my brain for life is a big deal!
In Episode 9 of the Highly Sensitive Person Podcast, I talk about how certain movies or TV shows make me anxious, scared, and uncomfortable–so much that I can’t sleep at night, including the one movie I will never, ever watch again.
Related Posts on This Blog:
- I Never Watch Horror Movies
- Incontinuities and Illogicalities Ruin Movies & TV
- Sensitive to Physical Violence: Boxing’s Not For Me
Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0Â
I agree with you about violent horror movies. I remember seeing the movie Natural Born Killers in the theater. It’s a Bonnie and Clyde Esq movie about sadistic serial killers. Needless to say this was the last violent movie I put myself thru. I don’t how people can watch these sadistic horror movies like SAW and Hostel they make today.
Thanks for the comment, Keith. I have never seen Natural Born Killers, and now I don’t want to! I totally agree with the sadistic movies like Saw and Hostel–I 100% don’t get why people want to put their brain through the violence and gore. It doesn’t seem good for the soul….not that I don’t enjoy things that aren’t always “wholesome”……I dunno. I just know I don’t like those movies. 🙂
I get why this movie would be of putting to an HSP (I’m an HSP & HSS) but i actually loved it because it was so far removed from reality and that it was actually about the viewer, not the murderers. But it’s pretty violent.
I remember when I was a teenager I loved scary movies, loved the thrill. Now, and over the last 7-8 years (I’m 32), they make me so uncomfortable I have actually cried during the commercial trailer for scary movies when I’m watching TV!! I’ve had nightmares from the trailers that I’ve accidentally watched during one of my shows. I end up getting angry that I’ve seen it and wish that trailers like them were forbidden from airing during prime time shows! Then I feel like I’m crazy for reacting so harshly to a trailer. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only sensitive person out there! I love your podcasts and will rate them on iTunes as soon as I can.
Haha, I have felt that way, too–angry about seeing a scary/violent trailer!! Even just the creepy trailers with haunted dead kids walking down dark hallways or whatever. It doesn’t seem right that they (who is “they”? movie makers, I guess?!) get to assault my brain with their upsetting images without my consent! I totally feel you on this one!
This was an interesting episode for me. I’m definitely HSP, I’m practically the poster-boy for it, but there is a part of me that has always sought out scary books/movies/games/etc… purposefully and consumed them ravenously (especially this time of year). The only issue being that because I’m HSP, they are so incredibly effective to me, and I end up regretting it horribly.
I remember being obsessed with the Blair Witch Project when it came out, I was probably about 15 at the time. I went with my friend to go see it in the theater, and it was so incredibly effective, I don’t think I got a good night’s sleep for weeks, because every time I closed my eyes, images from that movie would be left haunting me. I of course had to buy it on VHS when that came out, and watched it again and again, with it successfully getting under my skin each time. It got to the point where I’d be stressed if I even saw the VHS cover on movie shelf next to the TV.
The same thing happened a few years ago, when a much older me went with a group of friends to go see Paranormal Activity. I loved it, but it scared the bejeebus out of me. For weeks (and sometimes months after), 6′ tall, fully bearded, grown-@$$, married, me would lay awake in bed at night, terrified to close my eyes…even after all that, I still seek these things out with the express purpose of “freaking myself out”.
The more I talk about it, the weirder it is. I guess to clarify all of this though is to state that I never cared for the “slasher” genre of movies, those don’t do anything for me at all, what I really “love” are the more psychological stories, or the kinds of media that leave much of the gory details to your imagination. I don’t do well with the gore and outright cruelty.
Hah–I love this comment. I like you. 🙂 Coincidentally–I have a friend (also a married, adult, man!) who confided in being terrified by Paranormal Activity! And of course we teased him about it (in a friendly way). Why do you think you both love and hate these scary movies? What draws you to them? A curiosity?
Ha ha thanks, love the podcast by the way.
I really am not able to explain it, but it’s always been this way as far back as I can remember. I even recall checking out spooky ghost story books from the school library in 1st grade and scaring myself silly…and having to sleep in my parent’s bed for a few nights after. My mom would warn me to not read those books…but I couldn’t stay away.
A lot of the time, when I’m deep into something that is successfully getting under my skin, I will feel a prickly, tingling sensation run all throughout my body, and my head will start to get light…I become hyper-aware of what is going on around me (even more so than usual).
I’ve had a relatively care-free, safe life…I’ve never had much to worry about in terms of mortal peril and I’m not one to put myself into actual scary or dangerous situations, so perhaps it’s a way for me to experience the endorphin rush that so many adrenaline junkies feel from doing something crazy…but from the relative comfort of a living room couch.
Hey Tim, I just thought of something. Perhaps you are a sensation-seeking HSP! This post only scratches the surface but you should take the test!! 🙂 http://highlysensitiveperson.net/high-sensation-seeking-hsp/
Very interesting, I DID score relatively high on that test, and also thought of a few other examples of sensation seeking (I’m a big foodie who is always looking for new and interesting cuisines or ingredients I’ve never tried before) so I think you are right.
Thanks for helping me understand a little more about myself!
Hey there, I can relate to the curiosity and have felt disturbed by it, and why we have that curiosity and then I saw this, thought it might take your interest as well:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbdMMI6ty0o&list=UU6nSFpj9HTCZ5t-N3Rm3-HA
p.s vSauce is awesome!
Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3. I saw it at age 5, in the theatre with my aunt (totally inappropriate, I know — separate issue). I was terrified of going to sleep and of being in rooms alone for YEARS. Well into my teens. Maybe 5 years later, my dad thought it was ok to watch this police movie called Excessive Force with me, and there is a scene where a mobster stabs with a ballpoint pen in his eardrum, and I still think about it sometimes.
I loved this episode. I am an HSP who happens to be an extrovert, so I think people feel comfortable arguing with me about my sensitivity. Friends are always trying to cajole and convince me that a particular scary or violent movie will be ok. It never is.
ughhhh a pen into an eardrum????? Nooooooooooooo oooooooo no no no no nope
Just today my husband and I had a long discussion about this same topic. His argument is that when you watch TV/movies, you know it’s not REAL, so that should stop you from feeling bothered. We went back and forth on that a lot. So interesting.
I agree–violent or scary movies are never ok!! Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you liked the episode. 🙂
Actually, your husband’s a bit behind in brain research. Although you may “know” something is false, your brain reacts to your thoughts as if they were real — the same areas of the brain light up when a person is exposed to arousing stimuli whether in picture, video, or just thinking about it.
That’s why I think it’s a good idea not to err on the side of caution before yo put something ugly into your head. It never goes away, even if you consciously forget about it. When movie people say that their movies don’t cause violence because people know the difference they’re probably lying. If the product did not cause a response, they wouldn’t be in business. If movies or TV ads or whatever don’t make a difference, why on earth are billions of dollars spent every year in advertising.
Hey guys, I remember once when I was 15 or 16, my friends took me to the Cinema to see one of the SAW movies – the second one I think. Being in that theater was awful, I felt as though I couldn’t escape, it was such a disturbing experience. They really like to rub the gore in your face with those movies. Anyway, I could not sleep with my light off for 6 months afterwards, along with just feeling disturbed for that long too. As well as developing a temporary irrational phobia to saws…(about 3 years).
Kelly, I’ve seen Pet Semetary too, was influenced to watch it because one of my favorite shows, South Park (which also flaunts some disturbing scenes in my opinion, even though it’s animated?!) parodied it. I found the movie to be quite interesting, although downright creepy. The parts of the movie I hate the most are the scenes toward the end where the kid has been possessed and kills. I even considered watching it again recently due to curiosity, but decided “nooo.”
I can deal with more violent scenes more than I used to, since the majority of media has violent content, it’s really hard to avoid these days – the movie or TV show or whatever doesn’t even need to be a horror movie to have violence and sex all through it. I do find myself missing out on the stories though when I’m watching something with someone, cause I need to look away and not hear it.
What I hate more than made-up violence is watching Documentaries on real world violence/problems/corruption and animal cruelty. The amount of times I have secretly balled my eyes out while watching these… especially because it’s REAL.
When a certain sexually violent event happened on Downton Abbey I was upset for days. It literally hurt me that it happened. I wasn’t prepared for something so violent to happen on the show. Sad things had happened…which had been hard for me…but this wrecked me. I have not watched the show since. Anyone I have told this too looks at me like I am crazy. People tell me to keep watching…to find out what happens and that nothing like that has happened since. But I have not been able to watch any more episodes. I just don’t trust that show anymore. It isn’t “safe” to watch. I just found your pod casts today. Thank you. This aspect of my life has always made me feel a little “silly”. Now I know I’m not the only one.
Aaaahhh!!! I exactly know what scene do you refer to. I was SOOO disgusted for days too… I was so upset, so hit you know… And my brother who whatched the show with me didn’t even said anything, i kept watching the show and nothing of that sort has appeared on the show again (i just finished season 5, christmas special) but sometimes i still remember, and i hate it… But that being said, Downton Abbey also had war scenes which i didn’t enjoy either,,, but that’s true, that scene was too much.
I can take this a step further, after watching a scary/violent movie I have a hard time watching anything else the actor does. Anthony Hopkins has starred in many movies, none of which I can watch/enjoy without thinking of Hanibal Lecter. John Cusack played a crazy criminal in Paper Boy (a critically acclaimed move), & I literally can not watch anything else he plays in. Some movies are based on true stories and some are not. These scenes and/or story lines would never cross my mind, how do people think like that? FYI: I don’t get this way with every actor, only the ones that do such a good job portraying the character (kudos to Sir Anthony and John). I hope Ron Burgundy never decides to do a scary drama, how will I cope? HA!!
Hi Christie–thank you for the comment. How interesting! I can see how one disturbing/scary movie could really imprint in your mind, along with the actor who was in it. I totally get that!!
totally! it took me way too long to figure out that i really only like documentaries, slow character-driven dramas, comedies, and period pieces. anything too intense (even super sad movies like Schindler’s List) fill me with so much dread, anxiety and terror that I can’t sleep for days. scenes from The Haunting of Emily Rose and Candyman and yes, even Pet Cemetary still terrify me decades. They flash through my mind and give me chills. Even typing this. shudder. I need to listen to a happy podcast now 🙂 The weird part is that when a movie is just too loud, bright or fast-moving (not scary per se), I often shut down completely and fall asleep. I’ve tried to watch The Matrix three times and have fallen asleep every single time. Same with Inception. It’s bizarre.
Hi Kelly,
I just discovered your podcast and was listening to episodes while I’m doing some cleaning in my studio. I was nodding along and relating to almost everything you were talking about, but when I got to this episode about scary movies, I had to stop and comment. I HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE!! When I was a young teen I watched Pet Semetary with friends, and TO THIS DAY there are a few images from that film that I cannot erase from my brain. Ever since that experience I never watch anything loud, scary, gory, violent, etc., I just cannot handle it. If a commercial or movie trailer comes on and I can’t avoid it, I close my eyes and cover my ears if I need to!
Thanks for sharing your experiences, I don’t feel like such a weirdo now. 🙂
xo,
Krissy
Hi Krissy!! That’s funny that we had the same experience to the same movie!! We can be weirdos together 😉
I also avoid horror movies because I find them disturbing. When I was a teenager I watched ‘The Ring’ and it absolutely terrified me. I still think about that girl Samara coming out of the well at night sometimes! It’s the creepiest film I’ve ever seen. I have a very vivid imagination and I can’t get the image out of my mind when I feel scared at night.
I just discovered your podcast, Kelly. It’s amazing! I’m now binge-listening to all of the episodes and it’s so refreshing and supportive. I actually feel so connected that I’m writing a comment for the first time ever on a website! I first discovered that I was a Highly Sensitive Person about 10 years ago and have been on a journey of discovery and acceptance ever since. So, regarding this particular episode about scary movies…I watched the movie Home Alone at a friend’s house when I was 5 or 6 years old and according to my parents I didn’t sleep a full night in my room for years after that. I would walk into their room and climb into their bed or alternatively turn on all the lights and do puzzles in the living room for hours because every night I dreamt of “robbers” coming to the house. Whenever anyone rang the doorbell of the house, I would quickly hide.
In 8th grade I had a similar experience to yours with the Pet Cemetery. I was at a sleepover with a group of friends and we rented 3 or 4 scary movies. We had just watched the Shining and were starting Pet Cemetery and I had to physically leave the room. I have mental images in my mind still of scenes from every scary movie I’ve ever seen.
A final story of many traumas involving scary experiences…I used to go to haunted trails with friends in October when I was trying to fit in with everyone, before I realized I was an HSP. The last one I went to, I lasted about 5 minutes and then left my group of friends in a full sprint through the woods until I got to the end of the trail because I was so terrified that the “flight” part of my “fight or flight” system completely took over involuntarily. Fortunately, a few years ago I decided I would watch no more horror movies and go to no more haunted houses/trails ever again because it was always so traumatizing and scarring.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s so nice to hear these stories that resonate so perfectly with my experience of the world.
Hi Rachel,
Thanks so much for leaving your first blog comment!! 😀 I’m so happy you enjoy the podcast! It sounds like we have a lot in comment. I went on a “haunted hayride” with friends many years ago and it was really difficult. I covered my eyes and ears most of the time. I also was scared a lot at night as a child because my thoughts would go crazy thinking about robbers and stuff like that. Even as an adult, if I hear a strange sound in my house at night I get a little scared!
It’s funny cause I actually don’t mind most scary movies (which is the first thing in this podcast I don’t feel sounds exactly like me) cause I like the mystery to them and I find they are so far from real (at least ghost type ones) that I can distant myself from them and usually I find if you get to the end of the movie, most of them resolve to the point that it’s way less scary, but horror movies like SAW, forget it. I also like action movies, but I have two older brothers, so that was probably bound to happen. Though, when they get into an intense fight scene, it gets really hard to stay focused and it’s all just a big blur.
I will say, I have more issues with realistic movies (that is, movies based on real events). Like Titanic. For the life of me, I can not watch Titanic ever again; there are just way too many scenes from that engraved into my brain. I can’t even really listen to the theme song from that movie without having nightmares and when that movie came out, everyone felt the need to play that song or learn to play it on the piano. AND to make matters much worse, I apparently have similar features to the main character, so I get “you look like the girl from titanic” way more than I’d like (nothing against the actress, just really wished they’d pick a different one of her movies). I don’t care who says that movie was a love story and that the main guy actor is super attractive, there were really people that died that way and that’s the only thing my brain seems to remember…
Hi Kristin, thanks for your comment! Isn’t it interesting how different we all are!…I totally understand how Titanic was impactful for you because it seems more “real” than many horror movies (and of course, the ship did actually sink and people died). Our emotions and empathy are just SO intense!!
Ugh! In middelschool begun the bloody mary hype. In my school being cool was more important dan studying, so some classmates were watching it. at the moment she came into the screen, my classmates called me to show ‘something’. That’s when i saw her running towards me. Before knowing what happend to me, i realised i was holding my breath. i was so shocked. Even to shocked to look away. i didn’t even wanted to watch the movie. but with this very day i still feel a little scared to say her name out loud.
This really speaks to me! While I can actually handle a certain amount of ‘gore’ as in surgeries and such, I cannot deal with hearing screaming, or any notice of the pain. Strangely, when I was young, I could recognize nociception in invertebrate animals when everyone else was oblivious. I am so sensitive to pain, including emotional pain, that it doesn’t even feel natural, like I should have had a different way of processing it.
It’s not just movies! History classes f—ked me up, badly!
However, this has caused me to think about horror in a different way, and made me think of a genre of “horror” as my own, even my nightmares follow into it. I need to think of torture as what I refer to as “pleasure exploitation torture” just to understand it. Pain odes NOT make sense to me, but pleasure does! It’s super weird, I know!
I think that HSPs could be living in an environment that is unnaturally overstimulating and obsesses over violence and misfortune…ever notice all of the negativity in the news, and how little of it is positive? That is it’s own horror movie!
Though, I wonder if this could have been a hugely beneficial survival trait during our hunter/gatherer times, not just for the individual, but the whole community.
Hi Kelly, I would like to add to your post the “overly-negative” feeling movies. Years back I want to see a movie called “Dancer in the dark” by a Danish director Lars Von Triers (2000) on a wide big screen. It features singer Bjork. The plot is complex, long story short : by the end of the movie, the main character has the choice between : a. having her son be operated and not losing eye sight as she does, but facing death penalty for herself / b. saving her life but having to give up on her son’s surgery. She chooses a. The movies follows her step by step as she goes to the execution theatre, the director is heavily insisting on it.
Now, back to the spectator : the situation is so unfair that it turns your guts upside down. I read later that injustice is a feeling animals share with us. As a result, I was furious to be “held hostage” by this very unlikely and cruel situation. A diffuse negative feeling haunted me for the whole evening. I had a date that night, needless to say I was not able to make any move and cut it short… Since then, I have been avoiding that director and any movie that would sound too dramatic on review
I’ve known I’m an HSP/empath for less than a year (out of almost 50), but I’ve avoided horror movies all my life, never could understand the attraction.
The “Left Behind” series of books had been out for a couple of years when I finally spotted them in the library. For those who don’t know, it’s Christian fiction that illustrates what the authors think might happen right before Jesus comes back to rule the earth.
I felt like the only believer at the time who’d never read the series, so I checked out the first book.
And I. Couldn’t. Finish. It. The violence mingled with the intense suspense was too much for me. I had no idea Christian fiction could rate right up there with “Nightmare On Elm Street” for me.
I won’t tell you about my reaction to when my high school Psych. teacher showed us the movie “Sybil”…(Google it, you young people, you. 😉 )
Oh my gosh!! I saw part of Sybil when I was young and I, too, still remember it. It’s burned into my brain.
I’m a HSP and HSS (the latter mostly concerning new and curious things).
I’m a sucker for strange and spooky things and have always been (sometimes at the expense of my parents’ sleep 😅). I love the X-Files, Stephen King and all things spooky and strange, but also like the border-phenomena of human existence that can get really… dangerous when you’re so sensitive (but it’s also extra exciting).
For me, i have to be cautious when it comes to people vs people violence. I watched Alien when i was 10 and i was fine, but when i was a teenager and was 5 minutes into Schindler’s List, i bawled my eyes out (esp because it’s true). I never could watch that movie longer than 20 minutes.
One of the tv things that actually traumatized me though was a scene at the end of American Horror Story: Roanoke that I won’t describe here but who watched it probably knows what i mean. I still get flashbacks to the scene and had to reassure myself in the net that at least some people found it as horrifying as myself. That’s when i stopped watching the series although its production and across are brilliant.
I also have to watch my true crime podcast consumption in that regard.
Btw “Morbid” had a really good episode on the concept of fear and why some people enjoy it (when it’s safe) and others don’t.
I love being spooked but i abhore violence.
Thanks for the podcast, it is brilliant. I know for some years now that I’m a HSP but it never fit perfectly, but through your PC i learned about HSS and it all makes more sense now. I learned that i did some things right already but it’s good to be reassured that it’s still “normal” to be hurt and think about stuff allot.
And I’ll definitely buy your book soon!
It was the mini series Shogun. (1980) A man was to be boiled to death. It wasn’t even a graphic scene, it was made for television afterall, but I felt the fear of the man being dragged to a horrendous death, and the screams…I was 16 years old at the time. I actually ran to my bedroom crying. All of these years later, I still feel traumatized by it.