hsp extrovertDid you know that 30% of Highly Sensitive People are extroverts?

Up to this point, I have neglected to write much about extroverted HSPs, and the main reason for this omission is because I am not an extrovert. (btw, it can also beย spelledย extravert). I didnโ€™t feel right writing about a topic with which I wasn’t that familiar.

So, I surveyed several self-identified extroverted HSPs toย better understand their trait. Here is what I found.

It seems that extroverted HSPs walk a tightrope between desiring/requiring social interactions and becomingย overwhelmed.

(Introverts, conversely, don’t feel like our livesย are missing something without lots of social interaction.)




As Wendy, an extroverted highly sensitive person, explains: “I receive energy from other people โ€“ and being an HSP, I fully feel it and take it in! But, also, being HSP, I tire faster; after a long period socializing, Iโ€™m totally ready to be alone and peaceful.”

Anne-Leena seems to agree: “It’s challenging to balance the ‘kicks’ you get from social situations/travel/learning new things and the tiredness afterwards.”

Aย main difference between introverts and extroverts is that introverts feel drained by social interactions, whereas extroverts are energized by those interactions. As extroverted HSP Shalini says, “If I go for more than 2-3 days without interpersonal contact, I feel like I’m missing something.”

Whereas an introvert like me–I’m perfectly fine with not being around people for a while.

Wendy writes: “It seems that introverted HSPs are naturally shielding themselves from things that would bother or hurt them โ€“ crowds, dominant people, noise, too much socializing, chaos.ย Whereas extroverted HSPs are perhaps willing and able to take some of that in โ€“ tolerate it a bit more? โ€“ draw some excitement from it.”

I totally get what Wendy is saying. I think I avoid some loud, busy, social events because I fear how it will make me feel. I anticipate that it will suck out my energy. Conversely,ย the extroverted Highly Sensitive Personย craves the social activityโ€”but in a certain amount, not above their desired threshold.

Dr. Elaine Aron playfully refers to extroverted HSPs as such: “Those pesky 30% of sensitive people who were describing themselves as talking a lot, liking to meet new people, having a lot of friends, and enjoying large parties. Yet otherwise they were like the other 70%โ€”sensitive to pain, caffeine, and loud noise; not liking pressure; being easily overstimulated; and so forth. So they also needed plenty of down time away from others, unlike most extraverts.” (source: psychologytoday.com)

I asked the extroverted HSPs: What is yourย biggest challenge? More than one respondent said that other people donโ€™t believe they arenโ€™t 100% extrovertsโ€”that they need breaks from social activity.

Allen explains it like this:ย “My work colleagues couldn’t understand…’Here’s Allen, the life and soul of the office, but he doesn’t want to go outย on Fridayย night.’

Margie says,ย “People assume that I am tougher emotionally. I appear confident, and I am, however, I cry easily when I feel deeply about something that is important to me or if a situation has affected me emotionally.”

And how about the social aspect? How do extrovertsย deal with enjoyingย social interactions whileย being highly sensitive?

Shalini writes, “On one hand, I crave a lot of people time–and diverse people time. I’m never content to just have one group of friends; I have many groups of friends and I absolutely love that.ย Also, I’m more likely to be a leader–in fact, I am a high-ranking director who supervises 30+ people, and I love it.ย Well, I love it when my staff are happy and working well together, but when I have the occasional day when things don’t go so well (which is inevitable), I get exhausted and want to be by myself.”

The picture of highly sensitive extroverts has become clearer to me now.

For those of you who are extroverted Highly Sensitive People, I thank you for bearing with me on this blog. I know I almost always focus on the introverted point of view, since that is just how I think. I always appreciateย hearing your thoughts so I can better understand how others feel.

Thank you to Shalini, Wendy, Allen, Margie, Ali, and Anne-Leena for sharing and helping with this story. You can listen to the podcast episode about this topic here.

photo credit: chrisinplymouth via photopin cc