Downer Time!! I think you can tell from the title that this isn’t going to be a bright and sunny post.
So…I have been very fortunate in my life thus far that I have not lost anyone close to me.
But I know that someday that will change.
And that scares me so much.
I don’t know if other women do this, but there have been some times I’ve let my brain go and imagine some dark scenarios, like– what would I do if my husband died? My mind starts going and going and eventually I’m so upset that I’m crying. It’s so dumb! I’ll say to him tearfully, “Don’t die.” And he’ll roll his eyes and say, “Stop thinking about that stuff!! You’re getting yourself all worked up.”
I know that someday someone I care about a lot is going to die, and just the passing thought of that makes my stomach feel like a knot.
I don’t know how I will handle it. I think it will be a pain that it too great to bear. I dread it, and I know it is coming.
But what good does it do to worry about it now, right?
I am just scared of the pain that I know I will feel someday. It’s going to hurt sooooo bad.
I do this too! I think it helps me appreciate people more though.
We really cannot know what/how we will cope until we walk in those shoes. I work in the funeral business and still accept that ignorance. Rest assured: when it’s your turn to face/handle a death, it will be hard but there will be help. Estate professionals, support groups, counselors, not to mention the wisdom that resides in you.
Nicole says it well: live each day with love and appreciation.
I had this same fear and did lose my husband and both parents almost 8 years ago…..all within 4 months. I am an extremely introverted HSP. The deep soul pain and grief has been excruciating, but my faith in God has helped me in my grief journey. Without Him, I could not make it. I can tell you not to worry ahead, but I used to have the same thoughts you talked about before my loved ones became ill. I did not know I was an introvert or HSP until I worked with a psychologist afterwards.
I am now trying to learn to live in the moment and be grateful for all of my daily blessings instead of allowing my mind to go places of fear. It’s a daily challenge for me.