Downer Time!! I think you can tell from the title that this isn’t going to be a bright and sunny post.
So…I have been very fortunate in my life thus far that I have not lost anyone close to me.
But I know that someday that will change.
And that scares me so much.
I don’t know if other women do this, but there have been some times I’ve let my brain go and imagine some dark scenarios, like– what would I do if my husband died? My mind starts going and going and eventually I’m so upset that I’m crying. It’s so dumb! I’ll say to him tearfully, “Don’t die.” And he’ll roll his eyes and say, “Stop thinking about that stuff!! You’re getting yourself all worked up.”
I know that someday someone I care about a lot is going to die, and just the passing thought of that makes my stomach feel like a knot.
I don’t know how I will handle it. I think it will be a pain that it too great to bear. I dread it, and I know it is coming.
But what good does it do to worry about it now, right?
I am just scared of the pain that I know I will feel someday. It’s going to hurt sooooo bad.