Journalists and writers seemingly can’t help themselves.
When they write an article about Highly Sensitive People, they just can’t stop themselves from sticking in pejorative, judgmental language.
Sometimes it’s so minor that it’s hard to perceive, but it’s almost always there.
**warning** This post is a rant. If you do not like to read complaining and sarcasm, I suggest skipping this. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
I’ve written about my frustration with media regarding HSPs in the past, including this in-depth dissection of a Wall Street Journal article. And the time a local paper titled a piece about my blog: “Leave me alone”.
Who’s my beef with today?
The Telegraph and The Irish Independent and the article in the image above.
Here’s the headline and first two paragraphs. I’ve underlined the parts I take issue with:
Jumpy, easily upset? You might have Princess and the Pea Syndrome
It could be called ‘Princess and the Pea‘ syndrome, but those with a hypersensitive nervous system (HSP) are now being labelled by experts as highly sensitive peopleAre your feelings easily bruised and do you worry about hurting other people’s? Do you well up at charity advertisements about illness or animal cruelty, dislike scary films or feel bothered by loud or irritating noises in a way that others don’t?
You could be a highly sensitive person, or HSP – a condition that is common but until now rarely understood.
Where do I even start? I’m not even sure how the author managed to pack so many niggling things in just a headline and two paragraphs. Let’s go.
“Are your feelings easily bruised?” and “easily upset” and “get upset very easily”
Having “easily hurt feelings” is a common perception of HSPs. So, so common. But nowhere in Dr. Elaine Aron’s HSP self-test is there anything about having easily hurt feelings or getting upset easily.
A less editorializing way to say “Are your feelings easily hurt” could have been, “Are you conscientious? Do other people’s moods affect you?”
That’d be more accurate. And less of an incorrect assessment.
BTW–I don’t believe that HSPs have “more easily hurt” feelings. *I* don’t have easily hurt feelings. Being highly sensitive doesn’t mean you don’t know how to cope with negativity in the world. I have learned how to cope with criticism and negative feedback in my life. Those are just normal things you learn (or don’t learn) as a person.
Having constantly easily hurt feelings might mean you are hypersensitive, which leads me to…
“…those with a hypersensitive nervous system…”
and later in the article: “Rather than being a personality type, being a HSP is defined as having a hypersensitive nervous system.”
I believe that hypersensitivity is not the same as HSP and I think that’s where most misconceptions of the trait come from.
Hypersensitivity means emotional fragility, whereas high sensitivity is a biological predisposition. “HSPs are no less capable than anyone else of developing emotional resilience and reliable coping skills.” (credit to this piece from Psychology Today)
And if you think I’m splitting hairs, here–that “highly” and “hyper” are synonyms, then I take issue with the fact that “hyper” is a pejorative word. It’s the same as saying “overly sensitive”, which of course, is a bad/negative thing.
“…are now being labelled by experts as highly sensitive people”
First of all, this is not new information. Dr. Elaine Aron’s first book about HSPs came out in 1997. But I’ll concede that Aron’s new documentary film is bringing new light to HSPs.
However–“LABELLED”? Would you say people were “labelled” autistic? “Labelled” depressed? “Labelled” left-handed? Who even uses the word LABEL about people?
“…a condition..”
Condition implies it is a problem or defect. It’s a trait, like being introverted or left-handed.
“princess and the pea syndrome”
I can’t even. If this isn’t disparaging, I don’t know what is. Plus, it’s not a syndrome.
I just can’t.
From later in the article….
“The singer Alanis Morissette, a self-confessed HSP…”
Definition of the word “confess”:
- “admit or acknowledge something reluctantly, typically because one feels slightly ashamed or embarrassed.“
I think I made my point.
But then there are great quotes from HSP experts!
The weird thing is that there are quotes from Dr. Elaine Aron and Dr. Ted Zeff, experts on HSPs. Their quotes make sense and are illuminating. But the author makes no attempt to expand on these quotes, or come to their own enlightened conclusions from them. Why did the author ignore what Aron and Zeff said and just make up their own judgements on what high sensitivity is?
Why is it so hard for a journalist to write a……well, sensitive article about high sensitivity? Why does it seem impossible for them to cast off their preconceived notions and actually listen and absorb the truths about it?
Why the negative spin bothers me so much
As someone who hosts a podcast, runs a blog, and authored a book about being highly sensitive, I have to endlessly justify high sensitivity to people who roll their eyes and think we should just “toughen up.” I used to be one of those people.
I thought sensitive people were overreacting crybabies. I avoided learning more about HSP because I knew I couldn’t possibly be one of those annoying people.
Then I finally did more reading about the subject and realized that indeed I was highly sensitive. This knowledge changed my life. For the better. I was finally able to accept myself, stop wishing I was different, and understand why I felt the way I felt. I was able to find positive things about my personality for once. This epiphany led to my efforts to help others learn about HSP, in hopes that they can have the same life-changing realization that I did. I am passionate about helping people learn about high sensitivity to improve their lives.
This article had the potential to help people. To change lives, honestly. But instead, an author’s misconceptions gave it a negative feel that may have turned people off.
UPDATE: Here’s another one of these types of articles from The Bustle, “11 signs you might be a hyper sensitive person“.
It’s so easy to pick it apart. It uses the phrases “overly sensitive” and “hyper sensitive” repeatedly, which are pejorative. Then an image of an angry faced-girl and “sobbing at the drop of a hat”.
And this is a weird thing I’ve never heard before: “The bad thing about being overly sensitive? You tend to attack people when you’re frustrated instead of working on the problem together. ‘When you get upset, you attack the person and not the issue. You say things you do not mean, as you want them to feel as bad as you. You take things that people say as feedback in the worst possible way, never allowing for the fact that it could come from a good place and place of growth.'”
Huh? What does being HSP have to do with attacking people? If anything, HSPs’ empathy and sensitivity makes us *not* attack people personally.
I found my tribe!
Hey Kelly, I found your site and podcast in when I typed ” I hate being highly sensitive ” into my browser. I am glad I did. It has been a relief to discover what is “wrong” with me and now I have info to give loved ones when they are baffled by my “condition” and why I need to get away from people and lurk in a dark room for a while. I have been binge listening to your podcasts for the last couple of days. Other than you being an introverted HSP,( I think I’m in the 30% of extroverted HSPs) it sounds like I am listening to a female version of myself.
The article you have highlighted in this post sounds like something I have stuggled with for sometime now. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the words ” you are too emotional” or worse yet, “you’re too sensitive” I could retire to a tropical island and pursue my passions! I have been called a sissy and much, much worse.(The fact that I am usually one of the biggest dudes in the room and the fact I am a Combat Veteran has kind of stopped the name calling????) One thing that is especially hard is proving that I can’t help this trait anymore than I can help the fact of having hazel eyes. Another is proving this is a real trait to begin with. I do feel this is all changing though. I am soo glad I found this site and podcast and will listen and visit this website as often as possible. Thanks! Dan R
Hi Dan! Thanks so much for the awesome comment and I’m so glad you enjoy the site & podcasts!! You made my day!
Hi Kelly
I need your help
Please give me some tips for my turning stomach, I’m sure you understand what I’m referring to… The feeling when someone hurts you, the feeling of knowing you are going to have a confrontation,
my stomach and brain is on flame’s…
What should I do? What do you do when you have such situation’s???????
Thanks in advance.
I’m think HSPs (I am one) can be prone to hypersensitivity if we ignore or push back against being HSP. What mean by that is that there is a laundry list of things we can and should do to accommodate being HSP. Things like sufficient rest, meditation, etc. If we don’t do that and try to function like a non-HSP, allow ourselves to get overly stressed, etc. then hypersensitivity and emotional brittleness can result. That condition (hypersensitivity) resolves itself after balance is restored. That has been my experience.
The fact is that it is a non-HSP world and becoming more so with all of the overstimulation at our finger tips. Expectations at work climb, and if you’re someone who insists on a regular schedule, sufficient rest and “down time” (whatever that means to each individual) you are viewed as odd.
That’s because the mainstream media never gets its facts straight before it posts an article. As someone who is an HSP as well, the outside world never seems to acknowledge our strengths like our ability to predict and plan ahead better. The ability to pick up on others moods can be helpful in keeping customers happier, etc. But I don’t expect much from mainstream anymore haha