I’m a little bummed out right now.
I submitted my blog to a local publication, the San Diego Reader. In every issue, they publish short excerpts from local blogs. I figured–why not?
They published it today. Here it is.
The headline they chose for the article is:
“In Other Words, Leave me Alone.”
I was not happy about this.
I had been looking forward to this being published, and now I feel like they are almost mocking it a little bit.
The reason I have this blog is to try to help people realize they aren’t alone in being sensitive. I hope to offer camaraderie and a sense of, “I didn’t know other people felt that way!”
It’s a safe place for sensitive people. It makes me happy when you guys read something here and can relate.
This insensitive headline, “Leave Me Alone”, just reminds me that the average person does not understand HSPs, and they aren’t willing to. They still see them as whiny, complain-y, pains-in-you-know-what. They should toughen up and suck it up.
The exact thing we are trying to educate the world against.
I sent them an email trying to explain my view, and asking if they’d reconsider the headline. I hope so.
“Hey look at this, the sensitive person is complaining about their headline! No surprise there…”
I’d love your opinion. Do you think I’m overreacting? Do you think the headline is ok?
I agree the “Leave Me Alone” title was probably not what you were looking for I’m sure, but in all the other aspects of the blog, I totally get it! I read this and thought to myself “Self, this pertains to me”! Thank you for doing it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not so much an introvert, and shy, but alot of little things do bother me. I do have times when I’m with people and they seem to shut me out, but OK, it’s more their problem than mine. I can just sit and listen to the No sense they spew.
As far as the “Sudden Noises” I am totally with you there. The one thing that irks me is when I can’t get sleep because of some obscure low tone noise, and I hear everything! I sleep with ear plugs, sleep aid pills (Only 2), put on a low volume fan, and I still hear #$^&!
I am glad to know that HSP isn’t considered a problem, and I am normal (My GF is helping me with the situation). I was diagnosed with Over Active Nerves by a pysician at Mayo Clinic, and I just chalk it up to that.
So, some of the “Little” things that bother me?
People not picking up their Dog Crap! (I live by the beach in PB)
Not using turn signals.
Taking their pet everywhere (Including a restaraunt). Should I have to put up with it, because their trophy pocket dog is the cutest in the world?
Anyway, the list goes on and on.
Please, I try to tolerate all situations and sometimes it’s difficult.
Once again, thank you for the blog, and I know WE are not alone.
Hi Joe, thanks for the comment! I’m glad you liked the blog. I have never heard of a diagnosis of over-active nerves…interesting. Did they give you medication for that? I just got a dog (for the first time in my life) and I’m trying to be conscientious. I will only bring her to restaurants with outdoor seating–never indoors. I hope it doesn’t bother people too much. I remember before I had a dog, I would sometimes be bothered by dogs in restaurants, too–even outside.
HI joe- my name is Shannon snd I am actually a patient at Mayo Clinic. The problem is that no one can figure out what’s going on with me. It started in January of this year when I woke up one day tingling all over my body, from the neck down (like when a foot falls asleep). I couldn’t walk very well at all, like a drunk toddler-honestly. Two weeks later I was completely numb and couldn’t move on my own at all. I was rushed to the hospital, but they were horrible; even gave me a seizure while there because they kept giving me dilaudid to “shut me up” as the nurse said! The next day I was transferred to another local hospital where I stayed for 2weeks And then I went to an inpatient rehab center for another 2 weeks. All this time, with 5 MRIs, 3 spinal taps and countless blood tests not one Dr could tell me/my parents what was happening. Thank God my mom is a Nurse Practitioner and she was an advocate for me-a true HSP amidst the chaos of everything going on around me. I was then sent to Mayo Clinic to meet with a top neurologist in the nation (Mom made a few calls). He said Transverse Myelitis due to a B12 deficiency. That was in February. I have great B12 levels now thanks to weekly injections, and yet things have continued to happen to my body. Not only was my spine swollen from my body attacking itself, but now I have more “symptoms” of an autoimmune disease. I went back to Mayo for the 2nd time about 7weeks ago and was told by the same neurologist that my new symptoms were psychosomatic in nature and that he didn’t know what else to do. Now, here I am, 6 months into this nervous system hell and I leave next week for lucky #3 Mayo visit. This time its to meet a team of diagnostitions. (Allegedly a real life Dr House scenario.) For many years now I have believed myself to have an overactive nervous system; for a multitude of reasons.
Could you please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and give me some advice and/or some of your story as an HAP who was diagnosed at Mayo Clinic. It would help so much to hear someone else’s story; because I thought mine was the only HSP with unknown nervous system symptoms. Thanks so much.
I use to Lose entire days thinking about things . I hurt my chest when it takes a idea too long to show up in the real world, I’d pull my own heart out if I could.
Some Things don’t mildly affect me they crush me.but in the most part I’m so relieved I was only brought to my attention about a month ago, I never felt like a quite belonged 24 years old and I’m at peace I used to My crazy doesn’t approve the boredom of small talk and commonplace things simply cause my crazy is colorful and man so great finding people who understand how coldly humanity treats different I hate that being HSP is viewed as a disability when this is simple a state of living for HSP thank you so much for the blog, I’ve learnt with being this sensitive i had to develop good boundaries could not understand how I could get so emotional involve and I could feel the pain people felt, it deeply bothered me but the boundaries is helping let in what is useful and keep out what is not. I’m finding inner peace and I’m content Thank You again
Hi Dez, thanks for the comment. I like this “My crazy doesn’t approve the boredom of small talk and commonplace things simply cause my crazy is colorful…” You should try writing poetry or other creative writing (if you don’t already)! I’m glad the blog has helped you. Keep on nurturing your sensitivities! 🙂
Wow, that titling without your consent is really bad. It is a mean move by the editor, meant to have others laugh and say, ‘what a wierdo.’ I am so sorry that your beautiful outreach to people who need this support, was abused in the name of journalism. Stay true to your mission, Kelly. I am in awe of your honesty.
Thank you Deborah. You are so sweet 🙂
Just saw your blog in the reader. I agree that the headline totally misses the mark. I don’t want people to leave me completely alone, I just need some time alone to recharge once in a while. I love your “I care about your feelings….” statement. I never really thought about it like that before, but that is exactly how I feel! It was a real revelation for me. My sister was just telling me last night that she hates to go site seeing with her friends because they either go too fast or too slow for her but with me we are always on the same page. I didn’t tell her that it is because I am always trying to read her and adjust myself accordingly! Thank you for doing this blog. It is good to find a kindred spirit.
Hi Tina, thanks for the nice comment! I am glad you like the blog. Isn’t it wonderful to find a kindred spirit? I remember first hearing that term in Anne of Green Gables when I was a little girl! And then Susan Cain used it again in her book. But it is so true… when I meet a new person, I find myself hoping that they will be a kindred spirit, and trying so hard to determine if they are. Maybe we should start an HSP meetup!
I am so grateful to be among kindred spirits. I love that term and rarely feel like I know any true kindred spirits. I feel so different than everyone in my life.
Like I’ve read in your blog, I only feel relaxed when I am completely alone. If the phone rings or someone knocks on the door, I get so irritated. Even when I’m alone, I worry about what I should be doing instead. I know I need my time alone, but I feel selfish for taking that time since I know I could be doing something for others.
I daydream about living at my own Walden Pond with no social obligations with time to just write, create art and interact with others at my own discretion. Seeing this is writing looks like I have selfish dreams. I need to find balance in my life and I think your blog will help me a great deal. Thanks!
Hi Ann! Thanks for the comment. I can totally relate to everything you wrote. I’m glad you like the blog. 🙂
Don’t over-think the “Leave me alone” comment. (Look who’s talking-I over think everything! I get it!) Anyway, whoever added that is not a HSP, but hopefully will learn something from your intelligent blog.
Your opening paragraph struck me right in the heart. It was like you were writing about me!!! I ask myself “Why am I never content?” I have a great life and still I obsess, worry and over-think everything. It negatively affects my daily life- every day. Again, thanks for your blog, I so need it. HSP like me so need your understanding and this fantastic blog. Seeing myself in the words of others validates my struggle and gives me hope. Someone finally understands me! I am almost 50 years old. I think I have missed alot of opportunities for happiness and fulfillment because of being a HSP. I need to re-frame my regrets and forgive myself. Reading that HSP is due to a biological difference in the nervous system is a great starting point for self-forgiveness. I am just wired that way. Being aware of this will help me manage and accept my traits.
What a wonderful comment, Ann! You’ve hit the nail right on the head. I have a fine life and yet I have to worry and obsess about things, too. I’m so happy you found us!! 🙂
I think this headline stinks…
Intolerance comes from a lack of understanding…And HSP’s are just WIRED different by birth. The thing is out there they don’t understand we DO tolerate.. maybe MORE than they’ll EVER understand OR know.That tolerating comes with a price:overload. So when we are learning about ourselves and trying to understand our sensitivities we realize most of the “annoyances”are due to something we are born with and that what happens commonly for other people around us impares us to move forward happily… because “why we get annoyed?” gets in the way.
Realizing we are not alone and that we are NOT abnormal, but part of a trait… gives us assurance that we can train ourselves to even enjoy being HSP’s and that there is a measure of tolerance we can handle… we do NOT avoid people..we just need to know our levels of overload ..and the measures of downtime. Of course… if an HSP.. finds it difficult to cope.. we are reactive.. meaning? we ARE going to show…we are annoyed..BUT that CAN be smooth a little bit.. by understanding.. of course the title FRAMES US. And that is not helping in the messages that needs to be conveyed… sorry to hear that Kelly, but u are doing a WONDERFUL JOB.
I stumbled upon your Web site and podcasts today and I just want to THANK YOU for giving HSPs another voice. It helps to know that there are others out there that share the struggles.
Thank you Stephanie! 🙂
I just stumbled upon your blog. I noticed that the last comment was over a year ago so I don’t know if you’ll get this. Thought I’d put my two bits in anyway.
I only found out two weeks ago I am an HSP. I am 48 yrs old now but spent 16 yrs of my life in Asia where one was strongly encouraged to conform. I was told I wasn’t quite ”right” and needed to change to be like everyone else. When I became overwhelmed, instead of being able to retreat to have some alone time to calm down and recharge, I was made, and later on in life, I made myself stay in those painful environments. I developed a bad temper and told people to go away and LEAVE ME ALONE! Voila! How ingenious! I all of a sudden got my peace and quiet! Not good for my relationships obviously. Truly I felt ”broken”. Discovering I am an HSP has put a totally new spin on how I deal with things now. I am not just an angry person. I am an HSP who was clueless on how to deal with the emotions I felt so deeply and did not give myself the downtime I needed when overwhelmed. Thanks to you, Kelly, and Dr. E. Aron and people like you who share your stories with people like us. I feel so happy these days, from knowing I’m OK, and there are people out there just like me!
It wasn’t very nice that they gave your article a seemingly insensitive title. Perhaps the person who chose it was someone like me or someone who was on the receiving end of someone like me two weeks ago. Regardless, it’s generating awareness. So thank you for that!
Thank you for the comment and sharing your story, Sonia! The more people who can learn about high sensitivity–and younger–the better! I wish I knew it about it years ago! But at least we know about it now, right? 🙂