Have you ever experienced feeling overwhelmed, but you didn’t know why?
Maybe there aren’t any huge problems or stresses in your life, but still you feel cranky and annoyed by everything.
I find that these feelings come about when I’m overstimulated or have spent too much time in social situations, and I need a break.
It happened just yesterday. My husband Jim and I have been traveling for a while and we just arrived in a new city in a new country. We were walking around, exploring the city–which is one of our favorite activities.
But for some reason, there was a storm cloud above my head. Perhaps I had sensory overload. Perhaps the long day of travel mentally wore me out. I needed alone time. Time to just be quiet and still and do whatever I want.
Poor Jim. He could tell I was in a bad mood. Eventually, I acknowledged my crankiness. (Me: “I’m cranky.”) He knows me well enough to know that I can’t help feeling this way, and that I needed down time. Thank goodness for his understanding. I truly appreciate it.
What to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
If you ever feel the “storm cloud” above your head, try these things:
- Let yourself acknowledge your feelings. Don’t beat yourself up for being irrationally grumpy. You feel the way you feel and there’s no reason to be mad at yourself up about it. This is the key!
- Explain to your partner that overstimulation can make you cranky and that it’s not their fault. You just need some time in solitude.
- Eat–hunger can often contribute to grumpiness.
- Go home, or to a relaxing and quiet place, and get some alone time. Recharge that battery!
This has happened to me SO many times, and no one has understood, but now I understand!!
I GET LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME! things just build & build up & if I dont recognize it RIGHT AWAY & take a break, then I am doomed. The irritation/annoyance will turn into anxiety & depression, it gets out of control & then I am in staying in my house for days on end, needing to re-charge & re-set. *sigh* such is life…
My hubby doesn’t understand even after 12 years……:-)
I have this issue all the time also. With me though my analysis paralysis kicks in and i try to figure out why, then when i cant figure it out i get upset because i cant figure it out.
This is so me too, the analysis paralysis
LOL I have been really really REALLY trying to get my BF to understand this about me. and…..It’s not working.LOL Example: I am spending time at his family’s home and it’s not always quiet due to relatives coming in & out. Not to mention, it was my understanding that my meals would be taken care of while here but that has not been the case …. so yesterday, after I had not slept well, went through a crying spell and was trying to wind myself down from it, in come 4 kids under the age of 12 and an adult relative-turning the TV on (that I had off on purpose) and talking loudly. Meanwhile, I had not had much to eat and what was cooked did not match my diet. Needless to say, I was cranky and I have been more cranky lately due to other life stresses. I just don’t understand why my BF is not taking the time to understand me MORE as a person and thus, know why I am cranky. I always take the time to explore him in more depth. he doesn’t understand how HSP works or in what situations we tend to be bothered because he has not taken the time to read or study anything related to the trait (he hates to read and did not review links that I have sent). He just feels that I should find other ways to deal with my stresses (true) and that my constant “negative energy” kills HIS energy (eye roll). but I can’t be “fake happy” when I am obviously stressing out. Its sooo frustrating. I wish that he understood what it was about so that I didnt constantly have to apologize for being cranky & stressed out. Thank you so much for posting this! now, at least I can confirm my feelings and see that I am not alone xoxo
This happened to me today, it’s my day off work, out on an outing to the city with my BF to get some errands done. I work in retail on the sales floor which is overwhelming in the first place. I haven’t had alone time at all in my 5 day work week. I got overwhelmed at the first store since another customer is freaking out and I have to leave after standing there waiting in line and I had to immediately leave because I got overwhelmed. Then we go to the next store, the place is very narrow with lots of product, a little boy is sitting on a shelf waiting for his parent near the door looking frustrated, there is a kid screaming in a back aisle, I ask a clerk where the product is, she seems annoyed, I find the product and a woman says she would like to look at product behind me but will wait out of the aisle until I am finished because there is no room for both of us to be in the crowded narrow store aisle, I don’t want to make her wait while I try to find the product. I had to leave. I just could not stay another second. I don’t want to explain anything I just want to RUN. I feel like I can’t breathe, my heart is racing, I don’t want to explain, I am mad at what is happening to me AGAIN. I want to fight all of this overwhelm, I have been bitched at for having it many times in my past and I cannot control it. I get grumpy too. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing! I hear you. Sometimes we get overwhelmed and we just can’t help it. (Well, maybe there are some calming techniques that would help, but I’m not that advanced.) 🙂 I think it helps not to be mad at yourself!! Realize that you aren’t wrong for being overwhelmed, that’s just you….and hopefully you can sometimes avoid those situations in the future! Why have people bitched at you about it in the past?? THat’s what I want to know. :/
Hi, I really understand you. I have those feelings of wanting to escape also, mostly in the crowded places. In normal workdays I dont go to stores or to mall at all, because I cant stand all the people there. I think my friends dont know about this side of me, cause I fee its really hard to explain how I feel..
I feel exactly like u do too, sumtimes I make sure U try & get out in an unhurried time @ work if possible & drive sum where relaxing or walk, works really well, when traffic quiet too, before school out or @_11 am, dont know if u an early bird or not but I get up @ 5am or 6 every day so I can think properly, go then, no crowds, nobody outside busking, no kids its bliss, mind u I live in nz, doubt this would work if u were in new York etc, but find your time where u best etc, what works for me may not work for u, whatever works best for u
I can really relate to the notion of feeling overwhelmed when there is no apparent stimulus causing it (ie: when “nothing is wrong”). It happens to me a lot and I don’t know what to tell people about why I’m in a “bad mood” or simply don’t “have any energy”. I feel as though saying anything would only sound as though I were making an excuse. But what might I say even if I wanted to? I can hardly explain the reason(s) that I’m overwhelmed to someone else if I can’t understand it/them myself first! It is so very frustrating and I don’t want to burden my loved ones so I usually say nothing and hope for the best. It can be really difficult sometimes not to label my highly sensitive nature “defective”.
I can relate 100 percent!
I have spent my whole life (I’m 56) feeling and being told I’m defective. Thank goodness I finally found out about HSP! ow I try to be much kinder and gentler with myself and take down time, but it is a hard thing to try to explain to other people.
Just go home or take time out… Not so easy when you’re at work, and aren’t important enough to drop everything for two hours.
Yes i feel like this everyday as an HSP. Life overwhelms me.
Interesting post…I used to be quite childlike in my reactions and unreasonable and unfair by taking it out on others and consequently spent my life apologising…It took an age but finally I’ve learned to slow down to speed up… As the wonderful Seth Godin says ‘ we are supposed to give you a pass beause you are full on, all day frantically moving from one thing to the other, never catching your breath and now you’re exhausted. Points for suessful proritisation, points for effiency and produtivity, pointd for doing work that matters…no points for busy’