Highly Sensitive People are often extremely observant to details. Today I was thinking about how this manifests itself in some small, quite unimportant ways.
Here are some things I think I’m good at because I am observant to details:
- Recognizing languages visually. I don’t know any other languages (except a little French and even less Spanish) but when I see a different language (written down), I’m pretty good at figuring out what it is due to clues I pick up from the context, the words, and its relationships to other words I know.
- Communicating with people who don’t speak English. Hm, this is tricky to explain. I’m good at expressing things in the simplest way possible. When I’m in a non-English speaking country and I need to ask a question or express something, I’m good at either using (1) “universal” English words (like “toilet”) or (2) the very few words I know in their language, and (3) hand/body gestures. This might sound like an obvious skill, but there have been many times I’ve been with another person who could not express themselves and I was able to step in and make it happen.
- Recognizing dog breeds. As some of you might know, I got my first dog ever last year. Since then, I’ve been sort of obsessed with all things dog-related. When I see a dog, I mentally try to figure out its breed. I am very observant to the different features of breeds and I’m good at picking them out.
- Picking up on dog body language. Along the same lines, I’m good at observing when a dog is showing fear, anxiety, restlessness, playfulness, happiness, or needing to go to the bathroom!
Not-so-great-things….
- Following recipes too closely. Look, I’m great at following recipes, but even if I select a “quick” recipe, it takes me FOREVER! I cut all my vegetables in perfect pieces, I cut every imperfection off meat, wash vegetables until they are perfect….I like cooking, but it takes me too damn long!
Yes, I’m with you on all of it! Especially the cooking – I have to wash things up and put away as I go and everything must be done just so. I know to double or triple the prep time the recipe calls for!
Yes yes!! So I’m not the only one! I see a recipe that says “Prep time: 25 minutes” or something and I think… I can’t even make a grilled cheese sandwich in 25 minutes! (ok, maybe that’s exaggerating a bit…)
I thought the cooking thing was just me! My husband laughs at me because I keep a ruler in the kitchen, to make sure I’m really cutting things in 1/2″ pieces, or my biscuit dough really is 3/4″ thick, etc. These things are important!
Haha, right?! And then my husband can throw together a bunch of miscellaneous ingredients and it tastes great almost every time! The other day I slaved away for nearly two hours (following a fancy recipe *exactly*) and the food came out so bad we threw the leftovers out! wtf!
One of my passions is volunteering as a Victim Advocate in my community. My HSP skills hep me by truly being empathetic when I am with my victims, being great at the details involving planning while on scene, and being overly observant of my surroundings for the safety of my fellow advocates and myself.
Thanks for sharing, Susan! That is great that you are helping people in such an important way. Do you ever find that it is overwhelming, though? That you have too much empathy for the victims and it weighs on you?
I experienced this last week, I was going for a job and started reading their web page, very quickly the night before the interview. The interview went well so I decided to learn more and re-read their web site. I picked up every spelling error found over several pages. Taking a punt I emailed them, said thanks for the interview and here I found this. I was compelled to let them know – I felt like I was helping but I think my sincerity was taken maybe as arrogance – needless to say I missed out on the role. Im not too sure my attention to detail is such a good thing at times.
Hi Tracey, thanks for your comment. I feel like I have done sort-of similar things! I think I am being helpful, but maybe it comes across as trying too hard or being arrogant. Oh well, you live and you learn, right? 🙂
I find that I can be over-meticulous when it comes to my work. On one hand, it’s a good thing, as I tend to catch details that others may miss. On the other hand, it can be a hindrance when I become so obsessed with perfection that I spend far too much time on certain projects. I remember leaving work five (count ’em….FIVE) times one night and going back because every time I got to the door, I wondered if I forgot to take care of this, that or the other thing. It’s tough for me to let go and allow others to pick up the slack for fear that something may go wrong and it will come back on me.
Likewise, I used to correct others quite often over trivial inaccuracies, but I’ve become more aware of that behavior and have been able to cut it way back. As an HSP, I realize what it feels like to be corrected on something trivial (tend to take it personally), so now I step back and weigh whether my need to be “right” about some little detail is really worth the possibility of offending someone. If it’s not something crucial, I’ll just let it go.
Hi Dan, thanks for sharing! I have the same problem–I often have to tell myself – “Just get it DONE”. I will even put things off until I feel like I’m 100% ready to do them and of course they never get done….”Just get it DONE, Kelly!!” 🙂 How do you get over the perfectionism?
Kelly, that’s a toughie. It depends on the situation. For instance, when I started my career in radio (a million years ago), I would spend hours on production because I thought I could always make a commercial spot sound better and wasn’t satisfied with the finished product until it was “just so” (and then I still wasn’t satisfied). It was a different matter, though, when I was live on-mic. If I flubbed live, there was no do-over, so I just needed to recover and move on. Doesn’t mean I didn’t re-live the flub in my mind, but it’s not as if I could go back in time and change it, so I eventually realized that was just a waste of emotional energy. I see some of those old perfectionist habits creeping into my podcast, and just need to remind myself that it’s okay if it’s not perfect (in fact, it’s more important to just let ourselves be human).
Something that has really helped me is the realization that no matter how much we strive for perfection, somebody somewhere isn’t going to be happy, and that’s okay, because you just can’t please everyone. By the same token, what we may think of as a big deal is likely something that most others won’t even notice. Perfectionism, if not checked, can easily lead to a loss of balance and awareness, and is just plain tiring!
For many years in my childhood, I could understand invertebrate behavior, but not human, a majority of mammal, or bird behavior. The one mammals I could understand were nonhuman primates.