I worked in an office environment for around ten years, with most of that time either in a cubicle or in a big room with other people.
A lot of the time, I hated it.
So many things played a part in bothering and distracting me in that professional environment. Some things were obvious (like a wrong-sized chair that hurt my body) but other things contributed just a tiny piece to making me feel awful–usually without me even realizing it.
This post includes my tips for HSPs to better cope in the workplace. It’s probably better to read this after you’ve already read these rant-y work posts:
- All the battles I fought in the cubicle
- Don’t Stand Over Me While I’m Working
- My Goal is to Take Down Bright Lights in the Workplace
- Headphones are the New Wall: Everyone Hates Open Office Plans
Caveat: Every office is different. My personal experiences might be different from yours. Also, keep in mind that I’m writing from an American perspective.
Ok, let’s go:
1. Don’t spill the beans.
Don’t tell your boss that you are a Highly Sensitive Person. They may not understand it and mistakenly think it means weakness.
In a perfect world, we could share our personality traits with our employers and they would analyze how these traits could be used as an asset to the team. But that’s not everyone’s reality. When I think back to past bosses I’ve had, and I imagine telling them I was highly sensitive–I have to smile. It would NOT have gone over well with some of them.
Should you tell other people in your life that you’re a HSP? See my opinion.
If–a big IF–your boss or co-workers have talked about being HSP or you think they will be receptive to the concept, then tell them. But in most professional environments, why risk it? You can thrive without telling people about your high sensitivity, where it risks being misunderstood.
Then you might say, “We should be spreading awareness about HSP, not keeping it secret.” Of course I believe that. I have a blog and podcast for that very purpose! But the workplace is not necessarily the right venue for sharing this personal information.
And that’s my argument for not telling people at work.
2. Be gentle.
Don’t beat yourself up about being different. Be as gentle with yourself as you would be to others. It might help to tell yourself that your nervous system is just more finely tuned than others.
3. Get gadgets!
Invest in your own ergonomic gadgets. I bought a pricey ergonomic mouse and keyboard that I used in corporate offices and now use at home. It’s worth the investment because you can use these tools for years.
Check out my list of ergonomic products for making cubicle life more bearable!
4. Talk to HR about your environment.
Don’t be afraid to talk to Human Resources (and/or your boss) if bright lights or your office chair are bothering you, or if your desk is too high or too low—environmental things like that. You might feel like you are being high-maintenance, but HR people deal with this all the time. You are not the first person to ask for adjustment in your workplace. Your physical and mental health are important.
My friend would complain about back pain from his work chair and refused to talk to HR about it. He had acupuncture, massage, doctor visits, and took up yoga due to the pain, but wouldn’t address the problem—the chair. Finally he spoke to HR (I like to think I convinced him!), and they got him an ergonomic chair. He should have done it sooner!
The average office chair seems to be meant for an average sized man. I am 5’3″, so using a chair meant for a 5’10” guy is undesirable, yet that is what short-statured people are expected to do all the time. Having a properly-sized and configured chair is so important when you are seated many hours each day.
In the past, I requested ergonomic, smaller chairs at three workplaces and two of them followed through. At the third workplace, I wheeled in an office chair from home.
5. Feelings = No. Productivity = Yes.
If you do talk to HR about struggles you are having, try to think from their perspective. They want their employees to be healthy and productive. Minimize discussion of your feelings and keep your requests about increasing your productivity, reducing work distractions, and physical health.
(Again, this depends on the workplace. You can take a different approach depending on whether your workplace is open-minded and modern versus traditional and old-fashioned.)
6. Get up and out.
Get out of the office on your lunch break. Go for a walk. I used to work in a dense office park, yet at lunch I’d walk around the massive parking lots and along the busy street. It wasn’t a very pretty stroll–and I wondered if people thought I was strange–but it cleared my mind and got my body moving.
I once joined a gym very near my job. I was lucky–it was only a 4 minute drive. At lunch, I’d hustle there as fast as possible, change my clothes, run on the treadmill for a half hour, shower super fast, then go back to work. Whenever I did this, I felt amazing for the rest of the day.
(If you don’t think you can fit a workout into an hour-long lunch, speak to your boss about extending your lunch break in exchange for working a bit later at the end of the day. Just a thought!)
If this workout scenario isn’t possible for you, get creative. You could start a lunchtime walking group, yoga group, or meditation group in the office.
7. Distract yourself.
Use headphones if you’re distracted by noise around you. Listen to white noise if music is too distracting. I like SimplyNoise.
It drives me bonkers when people play music in an office! Here’s my rant about why silence should trump noise in the workplace.
8. Home office?
Ask your boss about working remotely. I had a job where I worked from home three days a week and from the office two days a week. It was perfect!
If you think your boss will say no, start small. Ask if you can work from home once–maybe on a day you need to be home for some reason. Then, on that day, be super productive. Show that you thrive at home with fewer distractions. Then, maybe you can leverage that into more at-home work days. Try one day a week and go from there.
(Of course, not every job can be done from home.)
9. Know you aren’t alone.
Realize that you are NOT the only person who feels this way.
At a previous job of mine, I requested–and received–one of these ugly shield things to be installed over my cubicle to help block the bright fluorescent light. I felt embarrassed and conspicuous about the reactions and comments I received from my coworkers.
Amazingly, a few weeks later, two more people in the office had shields over their cubicles! I suddenly realized that lots of people share my struggles but stay silent.
What are your tips for surviving the office environment as a Highly Sensitive Person? Please share in the comments below.
Good to know I’m not alone. 🙂 One thing, though: shouldn’t you also eat during your lunch break? Low blood sugar levels make me feel very, very bad. So I’d rather enjoy a good meal in a nice, quiet place, preferably alone or at least not with my colleagues.
Well, yeah….you should also eat. 🙂 I guess I meant to do those other things after eating!
Different places offer different opportunities – i enjoy eating lunch outside – picnic style 🙂 Wonder or doodle between bursts of work.
oops that should be wandering and/ or doodling between bursts of work.
Same, rather be alone too, my boss is a real micromanager
IF I can get by with 5 or less grumps from him each day I’m dng well,
THEN he wonders why I need drugs to help me cope, if he wasn’t like he is I wouldn’t need them
I am a home care nurse in the office can be extremely overwhelming especially in the beginning of the day. There are so many personalities and many are not about to lift you up more often they bring you down and find fault. I feel very sad and lonely in this job which is supposed to be compassionate and kind that my coworkers for the most part are aloof or rude and definitely don’t embrace me. Sometimes I wonder if I am in the wrong profession however I know that I am a great nurse. I feel alone and alienated and I think it’s because I am an HSP.
🙁
I feel your pain. I bet you’re an excellent nurse but it is known as being one of the bitchiest professions … just the office politics and in-fighting ruin it all 🙁
Could/would you consider becoming a nurse educator? That would use your skills as well as remove the layer that gets to us HSPs.
Hi Aletha, Currently experiencing exactly the same thing and am also working in health care, although it is only one member of staff that is attempting to intimidate, embarrass and make me feel bad at the end of long stressful shifts when we’re supposed to receive a debrief. Instead of a debrief I’m receiving abuse from a staff member who is just starting there shift. As quite a passive person that takes a lot before I react some people abuse this and I have to learn to be more asservative and call them out on their behaviour. It’s much harder to do this if it’s a few people that are bullies.
I hope you find a way to stop them treating you this way or find a new job with people that don’t abuse your good nature and sensitivity. You deserve so much better and we spend so much time at work that it’s soul destroying having to face that on a regular basis. Here’s hoping 2017 is a better year for you. Good Luck
Never underestimate the importance of hydration … drink water like there’s no tomorrow (as well as making you feel and look good, it has the added benefit of forcing you to get up and walk to the bathroom!).
I used to drink a lot of vitamin water-type drinks at my desk that just made me feel antsy … water is far better for you and it becomes a little addictive after a while. I squeeze a little (bottled) lemon juice into mine.
Good tip!!! Thank you!
Great tip. Thank you.
I understand why to not tell your boss about being highly sensitive but I could never keep it a secret. I’ve been feeling called to be more authentic so I don’t think an office environment would not be the right place for me! Really sad we can’t be who we are in any environment.
In my experience … never, ever tell ANYONE that you’re a HSP as they’ll use it against you in some form, shape or manner – even people who you think are your best allies. When I’m in a social situation (which I dread!) I pretend I’m an actress, playing a very confident woman who everyone wants to know … it kind of helps 🙂
How about coping with breathing all your colleagues perfume for 8 hours?
Do you think that’s HR?
🙂
That’s a tough one!! I’d speak directly to the person first before going to HR. Just be as polite as possible, and you can even say you have a sensitive nose, or even say you think you are allergic to the perfume and it bothers you. I think most scent offenders would be embarrassed to hear their perfume was too strong and would probably make an effort to wear less.
However, if the perfume is from a superior or someone you don’t feel comfortable talking to in that manner….then yeah, why not ask HR if they can help 🙂
@Nicole: I have worked in an office for about 2.5 years now and the smells are a big issue. For me it’s certain types of cleaning solutions as well as peoples’ colognes and perfumes, but I am also sensitive to several types of fabric softener, so it’s really hard to tell people not to use all that stuff. Some perfumes/colognes make me a little nauseous but the biggest issue for me is sinusitis. My sinuses swell and hurt. A coworker suggested a saline spray from drug store (sinus rinse nasal spray), which works ok. My doctor prescribed an anti inflammatory steroid nasal spray for once a day. I also take allergy pills and Sudafed, as well as use a Neti Pot. I like the Neti because it’s natural and is supposed to rinse out irritants as well as toughening the nasal passages. So maybe some of those ideas will help. I have spoken to a few coworkers (twice) about their cologne/perfume and got ignored by one and an angry rant from the other. Online it says it’s quite a controversial subject and while most people know that many have sensitivities to perfumes and colognes, they feel it is their right to express themselves that way or something. Hope this helps, good luck! Oh I take a lot of walks outside as well as cracking the windows when it’s socially acceptable aka not too chilly and the office is comfortable for others, temperature-wise.
“Get up and out” resonates with me; finding sanctuary outside: a park, a quiet, beautiful church, even a landscaping nursery where you can walk among plants can be a great and uplifting balm.
I know by the date of this feed that I’m late to the party. But I’m just starting a new job in London where I work in a very intimate environment of only 3 people. I appreciate that the outdoors can give solace but where does one go / what does one do in the depths of winter without having to pay for an expensive lunch in the city?
I was chatting to a new friend today about her very cool job working from home.
She has an arrangement with a person who photographs real estate for a living (for real estate agents, marketing properties on behalf of sellers), whereby she ‘tweaks’ their photos – i.e., turns yellow grass green; removes horrible rust stains from concrete paths; makes the sky in the picture bluer … you get the idea. She obviously has a snazzy graphics package to do that (I don’t know what [and not necessarily Photoshop]) – which means she obviously had to outlay for that, and a decent computer at some stage; and her hours and workload are not consistent, nor are they guaranteed.
Anyhoo, this might plant a see of thought into some readers’ minds of this fine blog 🙂
I did have a TV blog for a while … I wrote recaps, published ratings information (which I bought from the ratings provider and had permission to publish), but after a while people stopped clicking on the adverts, and the comments became too hard to moderate (I wanted to give people freedom of speech but a lot of the time they’d get really personal about TV presenters, which I didn’t like, and then when I deleted their comment/s they’d get snippy with me).
I’ve also studied web design, and have built a couple of sites … but that is not a great career nowadays as there are so many off-the-shelf designs you can buy for a teeny amount of what a designer would typically charge.
So, working from home can be limiting. Even selling Avon is a bit of a dud these days as you can do it all online.
It definetly is a challenge to be HSP in todays workplaces.. Your blog definetly gave me something to think about!
I’m suppose to start a new job and, I’m freaking out! I’m trying to cope but, not use to working in a big university! I worked at a small college and now, I’m working for a huge university! I’m starting on Thursday. My nerves are shot! Any advice?
I used to work in a beautiful city that is close to the sea and has a spectacular botanical garden.
Both were about a 20 minute walk away so I made a point of blocking out time (in my lunch hour) to put some comfortable walking shoes on and go there (I alternated between each).
I can’t tell you how therapeutic it was, just leaving the hustle, bustle, smells and noise of the city … and in Winter, it was incredible feeling the salt of the sea whip up and smack me in the face (sounds terrible, but it was great!).
There really is something about getting back into nature to re-balance yourself. If you diarise it like a meeting you can’t get out of, then you’ll find it easier to stick to. If possible, always go alone – you don’t need someone else dumping all their bad energy onto you.
I did try doing yoga and pilates at lunchtime for a while but I felt like I was always rushing to get back to work at the end of the session, that I seemed to undo all the good work.
I find that getting outside during lunch on an especially stressful filled day helps immensely. All the chatter and office noises really get under my skin some days and a walk through nature helps me center myself.
It’s always really cold in the office and we’re not allowed space heaters so I bought a heated mat to keep my toes warm. Unfortunately my fingerless gloves don’t seem to stop my hands, particularly the one I use for my mouse, from getting ice cold.
Good idea with the heated mat! In really cold offices, I would wear a coat and continuously drink tea or hot beverages.
Flourescent lights are horrible for me. However, as a person with poor vision, I need very bright light if I am to be able to read printed material. So I can’t just turn off the lights or block them. I have found that some LED bulbs are excellent, and when they are used with fixtures that focus the light on my work surface, they are just what I need.
Reading on a computer or electronic device takes care of the lighting issue, but it can cause its own forms of eyestrain, and I find it harder to read for sustained periods than printed material.
So we all have to find our own solutions, and hope that those in charge of our workspaces will cooperate.
I just purchased a Lectrofan white noise machine for my cube, and am praying it does some good! Ever since we changed to a different workplace setup (lower cubicle walls, smaller spaces), and the white noise system that was supposed to be installed in the celing never worked, it has been terrible. I get to work feeling good, and over the course of the day become an irritated grump from even 2-3 loudmouths on the floor talking constantly, or my neighbour chewing with her mouth open. I don’t expect miracles, but a little less tension would be heaven!
Some of my coping mechanisms (and thanks for the great post by the way, so good to know others are feeling the same way!):
Big chunky headphones, to signal people I’m in concentration mode and I don’t wanna be bothered (I never listen to music). Definitely will try white noise though.
No notifications at all, I check my email often enough.
Smartphone rests in a drawer, ideally turned off.
Outdoor lunches, prefereably on my own, no matter what the wheather.
When people approach me with extra tasks, I ask them to schedule a meeting, bc adhoc meetings stress me out!
Those things help me, but I’m far from thriving in my office. I have the a real hard time to focus on what people are saying in big meetings, because I’m so distracted by all the people, the looks, the moods, the smells, everything… I’m drained and tired pretty much every evening after work and wonder how others aren’t! But I guess they don’t have to deal with all the extra impressings that constantly rain down on me.
I should add I’m working in midtown manhattan, in a communications team of a big un agency, where everyone is highly connected and sharing everything with everyone all the time, in an open office, horribly furnished and terribly lit, .. Poor choice for a hsp I guess…
Hi Ueli, thank you for sharing these great tips! I might have to add them to the post. I especially like the idea of asking people to schedule a meeting instead of just approaching you out of nowhere! 🙂
Thanks for the tips! As difficult as a toxic work environment may be. Always conduct yourself with integrity. thanks for sharing!
I have finally advanced far enough in my profession that I usually get a window seat. That helps me so much. I also have rotating pictures of nature scenes on my computer that also help. I had them take the bulbs out of the fluorescent light fixture directly above me and I have a task light that I use whenever there isn’t enough natural light from the window. I keep earplugs in my desk and use them as needed. I snack throughout the day at my desk, and on my lunch break, I go to a park that has benches you can lay down on. That is my sanctuary (that is, until someone near me starts smoking).
As for telling people I’m an HSP, I found that unless I explain my trait to my supervisors, they, like so many others before them, will spend a lot of futile effort trying to “fix” me. My current supervisor gave me a lecture on how he used to be like me and how joining the military is what helped him. Even though I was offended, I smiled and said, “I’m almost 50 years old and I’ve been married twice. You’re not the first person to try to change me.” I sent him and my previous supervisor this article below, and it actually really helped. They both got off my back and treated me with a lot more respect and seemed to really value me and my work after that.
http://www.hrzone.com/perform/people/highly-sensitive-people-in-the-workplace-from-shame-to-fame
This article is great!!! Thank you for sharing–I have just shared it, too! 🙂
thanks for sharing – knew flourescent lights made me unwell, but never though about taking the bulbs out!
I have read so many articles about managing highly sensitive people and how to cope with your boss if you are highly sensitive. I am the boss and dealing with employees is my hardest task. Is there info out there for being the highly sensitive boss? I know others are talking about me, disagreeing with my decisions, criticizing every decision. For example, I desperately want employees to understand why I am making certain decisions and then I am viewed as weak.
Hello,
being a manager is hard if you are a HSP. Are you one of us too?
If so, it should be a daily pain for you to have this position.
But the real problem is the work feodal hierarchy, not you.
People is often managed with fear and terror with the dirty argument to loose you job if you don’t fit the need.
So whatever you can do, you will always be the nasty boss.
You would better work for you without any employee.
I was just written up at work for being too emotional. Unfortunately my response to being written up was crying which didn’t really help my case at all. No I’m trying to survive without showing any emotion at all which is more torturous tgan the Pain I feel being this way. I have been given 3 weeks to learn how to manage my emotions or else I will no longer be employed. The emotions they are speaking of include crying one time when being reprimanded for something very small, stating to my boss that I was trying to not become upset and then the last time was when I said that a client was throwing me under the bus for something that I hadn’t done. There’s got to be some sort of law or you can’t fire someone because they are highly sensitive person
Thank you now I know I am not alone
Are there any tips for calming down after work? I work in an emergency department/room and I’m not allowed to leave during my 30 minute lunch break. There’s no quiet room to meditate either and as you can imagine its constant stimulation. I enjoy the work but find myself feeling ill after a shift and overwhelmed. How do I unwind from this? I’d like to thrive in this job but its hard as a HSP :-/
Hi KelsangTor. This is hard especially if you finish work at odd times. I find cardio exercise the best thing for me. I used to stop at a (nice!) gym on the way home and then by the time I was home I was exhausted in a good way, instead of wired. Now I have a treadmill at home and I jump on asap after getting in the door. BUT I also need a substantial break during the day to do a bit of a reset otherwise I would be feeling ill and overwhelmed too. You need that! Do you have some noise cancelling headphones so you can listen to a guided meditation perhaps?
I am an HSP. I once worked in a large, open room full of cubes. My cube had a half-height wall in front of me, facing an open area that was a hub of constant activity and noise. As a result, I had to be professionally treated for depression and anxiety until I was allowed to relocate to a less stressful environment.
I now work for a different company and have a reasonable work environment, but we are soon to move to a new building where I will have a cube in the center of a large room that has all half-height walls and adjustable desks that allow people to stand while working (and talking!). In addition, my cube is located at an intersection of main aisles, plus there is an open “collaboration” area right across the aisle. This is truly the stuff nightmares are made of for an HSP. I don’t mind telling you that I’m SCARED.
We are not allowed to use noise reduction headphones and I can’t concentrate while listening to music using headphones. I have considered getting a white noise machine but we’re not allowed to take any electronic devices into our place of business. I may try using earplugs, but that will make it difficult to communicate with my co-workers.
After a tour of the new facility to which we’ll be moving, I spoke to my boss and told her that I would not be able to work in my new cube location, and explained some of my experience at my old place of business. She said that she’d see what she could do but of course has done nothing since. I’m trying not to get worked up about this move but I really think I’m going to have to quit and find other employment.