Karaoke Bar Neighbors? Ruh-roh.

October 11, 2013 by 4 Comments

Yesterday, my husband and I booked an apartment for a month in Chiang Mai, a city in Northern Thailand. My goal while being here is to pretty much work on my laptop all day, so we aren’t really here for sightseeing.

So….we spent most of the day riding around on a scooter, scoping out places to stay.

One of my requirements is that the apartment not be a studio. I need my quiet time and my space, so a studio would drive me nuts because it would mean we’d be in the same room all day. Most couples would be fine in a studio for the short period of a month, but not me. I simply need my own space for my sanity. So that meant our options were more limited and more expensive. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I’ve learned that I have to accept it and accommodate it.

We finally found a place and it seemed just fine.

Then night time rolled around and we soon discovered that right next door, there is an outdoor karaoke bar.

Until ONE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING on a WEEKDAY, we could clearly hear loud singing and music, even with our windows shut and the a/c on.

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Filed Under: Environment Tagged With: , , ,

Hot, Still Air Makes Me Feel Trapped, Like I Can’t Breathe

October 2, 2013 by 65 Comments

Claustrophobia: Extreme or irrational fear of confined places.
Cleithrophobia: The fear of being enclosed

I never identified as claustrophobic (or cleithrophic) before. I don’t know what’s happened to me the past year or so, but while traveling, I’ve come upon some instances where I’ve felt panic when I feel like I’m trapped in a situation or trapped in a place.

Just a few days ago, my husband and I, who are traveling around Thailand, took a 4-hour bus ride to a new town. A few days earlier, we’d been on a wonderful, huge, comfortable bus with awesome air conditioning. The trip was fine. So we assumed this trip would be the same.

Surprise! We were wrong. This new trip was in a minivan, packed to capacity, with the air conditioning a tiny trickle of air — just enough that you weren’t melting. I don’t think I need to tell you that Thailand is HOT. It was not comfortable.

After the first 10 minutes on this bus, I looked around me and thought, “Well, this is where I’m going to be for the next four hours.” And I felt a little panic start to rise inside me. There was no way out. (Well, I guess technically I could tell the driver to STOP and let me out, but I wasn’t going to do that.) But realistically, I had decided to take this bus ride and I had to do it. I looked at the door and thought about what would happen if I had a panic attack.

What gets to me the most is heat and the lack of air movement. I really have issues with air movement. I have never met anyone else who feels the same way. When I’m in a stuffy, warm room, with no air movement, I feel like I can’t breathe. Having a fan is essential to me when I’m ill, dizzy, or overheated.

On an overnight train from Prague to Krakow

This trapped feeling happened to me twice on overnight train rides, too. On both occasions, the train windows were closed and there was no air circulation. As I laid on my hard sleeper bed on the train, with the bunk above me just inches from my face, the air felt SO CLOSE that I again felt like I couldn’t breathe. The inklings of panic started to grow. I had to get up and walk around the silent train car while everyone else was asleep.

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Filed Under: Most Popular, Overwhelm, Traits Tagged With: , , , ,

A connection between caffeine, Mitral Valve Prolapse, and high sensitivity?

October 2, 2013 by 9 Comments

Storytime. Several years ago, I kept getting this feeling like my heart was skipping a beat, or that it was beating double occasionally. I had lots of tests done, and it was determined that I have mitral valve prolapse (MVP), a really common heart disease-but no big deal in my case. The bigger news was that my doctor told me to try avoiding caffeine to see what would happen.

So I stopped drinking soda and coffee (I didn’t drink much to begin with), and like flipping a switch, the heart fluttering STOPPED. I was amazed.

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Filed Under: Coping, Traits Tagged With: , , , , ,

Why I’d rather just sit and listen

September 20, 2013 by 13 Comments

why can’t we all just get along

“I don’t know what to talk to people about. I’m okay with just sitting there and listening to others. Then if I try to interject, people shut me out, like I don’t exist (depending on the people.) So, It’s best to just sit quietly.”

I got this paragraph in an email from an acquaintance recently and I totally understood where she was coming from.

Sometimes I just want to be alone to “recharge my battery”, as introverts often do.

But other times, my desire to be alone is more complicated. Sometimes I don’t want to be around people because I don’t feel like being rejected. Say you are hanging around a group of people you don’t know well. You try to be a part of the conversation, and you are ignored.

And let’s be honest, rejection hurts, especially when you are a kid or teenager and still trying to figure out friendship and social situations. After that happens a few times, you learn that it’s better to just be quiet and observe than run the risk of speaking and being rejected.

As an adult, I’ve learned to cope with these feelings. I don’t care nearly as much when people “reject” me. Instead, I tell myself that these aren’t the type of people I want to hang around, anyways. I like people who are considerate, kind, and willing to listen to me the same way I listen to them. I have something to offer as a friend and acquaintance, and if they aren’t willing to accept me, then I don’t care about them! [triple snap!]

Filed Under: Emotion, Introversion, Relationships Tagged With: , , , ,

Sensitive to Caffeine: It’s my Kryptonite

September 17, 2013 by 2 Comments

that’s not very nice

As I type this, I am sitting in a cafe, sipping a decaf mocha, as the hipster baristas roll their eyes at my lameness.

I am ridiculously sensitive to caffeine. Having one cup of coffee can make me feel terrible for hours and hours.

But, like sunburns, I seem to forget this, repeatedly. And I keep doing it over and over.

The other day, I went to a cafe and ordered an iced latte. NOT decaf. I sipped it slowly, yet I still felt the effects quickly.

I hate how it feels. I can’t really explain it. It’s like this nervous, anxious, awful feeling right in my chest. My hands might feel shaky. I feel like I can’t breathe as deep. I DO feel more focused, though, and I’m able to work harder and faster for a little while…

So why does caffeine do this?

“Caffeine and anxiety are linked because the boost we get from caffeine is caused by an increase in our heart and breathing rate. These are the same reactions as the ‘fight or flight’ response that kicks in when we sense danger.” (source) And since caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, it may give you “drug-induced” tremors and cause your hands to shake. (source)

Here’s a fantastic explanation: “As highly sensitive people are continuously in fight or flight mode, we have no need of stimulants most of the time, in fact stimulants do more harm than good. We are already aroused enough as it is without the kick up the backside that coffee gives!” (source)

That makes sense! Does coffee affect you strongly?

Related Post: A connection between Mitral Valve Prolapse and high sensitivity?

Filed Under: Humor, Traits Tagged With:

Why am I so easily distracted at work?

September 12, 2013 by 2 Comments

Sometimes I am amazed that for a somewhat intelligent person, I have such a hard time staying focused on my work. Isn’t that a sign of being weak-minded or incompetent?

Nope, good news! I can blame it on HSP!

A recent article by HSP expert Peter Messerschmidt, “Time Management, Work and the Highly Sensitive Person” explains how to adjust your habits to HSP-proof your home office.

turtles!!!

First of all — Does this sound like you?

You are sitting at your desk at home, doing work on the computer, when you notice the tissue box on your desk is empty. You stop typing mid-sentence, get up, and throw out the old tissue box. Then sit down back to work. A few minutes later, you are distracted by a picture hanging next to your computer from a recent vacation. You google the name of the vacation spot and spend the next 15 minutes reading about it. Back to work! A few minutes later again, you feel like a snack, so you head to the kitchen and notice the floor is dusty, so you decide to sweep it really quick. Ok, time to focus! After a few more minutes of working, you notice a program shortcut on your desktop that you haven’t used in a while. So you spend the next ten minutes going through your programs and deleting things you don’t need. You are not getting much work done!

I am ashamed to admit that that is sooooo me! I don’t think I even realize just how many things I get distracted by and how much time I waste!

Because HSPs are easily distracted by things around them (like an old tissue box or vacation photo) and annoyed by little things (like a dirty kitchen floor or unused desktop shortcuts), we need to work smarter. Not harder.

So acknowledge the fact that you get distracted easily… then minimize those distractions! Look around your work area and see what you can do to help yourself. Clear out clutter. I’ve installed software to stop myself from visiting certain websites when I’m working. The article mentioned a person who used a dedicated work laptop with only a Word processor but no internet connection when they wanted to focus on distraction-free writing.

And if you know there is a certain time of the day you are the most productive (for me, it’s late at night) specifically plan your day so you are working during those times. Take advantage of them!

Like I’ve said many times before, once you acknowledge your HSP traits and accept them, you can adjust your life to better fit you. You might feel like it isn’t “normal”, but who cares. You gotta do what works for YOU.

Filed Under: Traits, Work Tagged With: , , ,

TV Characters that have HSP Traits: Sheldon Cooper

September 8, 2013 by 2 Comments

In the video below, Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory explains in detail why he must sit in a specific seat in his living room.

Quote: “In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, but not so close to cause perspiration. In this summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross breeze by opening windows near and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct or discouraging conversation, to so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.”

Sheldon is a genius, but it could be said that he has a number of personality disorders! He is very particular, and has thoroughly thought through and formed an opinion on pretty much every topic imaginable. But-just for fun-how is he like an HSP? Here are more Sheldon traits:

  • Shaken up by changes in his life
  • Has difficulty coping when interrupted
  • Sensitive to heat/cold/discomfort and wants to find a way to fix it
  • Hypersensitive to drugs/caffeine

However, he is very unlike an HSP in the emotional department. Many HSPs feel emotions deeply and are affected by the emotions of others, which is totally unlike Sheldon, who cannot pick up on social cues at all.

Who else on TV do you think displays HSP characteristics?

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With: , , ,

Sudden Noises Really Make Me Jump

September 7, 2013 by 5 Comments

A bus screeched to a stop in front of me as I waited to cross the street.

I grimaced and instinctively covered my ears.

I turned to my husband Jim and asked, “didn’t that sound hurt your ears?” No, he says. “Ugh,” I said. “It literally HURT my ears.”

A few days later, we are walking down the street and a car goes by and breaks the silece with a loud horn HONNNNK! I involuntarily let out a small yelp. And jumped a little bit.

“Why did you yell?” Jim asked, a little annoyed at my outburst.

“I can’t help it.” I said.

So, yeah. I’m very sensitive to sudden noise, loud noise, incessant background noise, and high-pitched screeching. When someone would walk up to my cubicle at work and start talking to me, often I would jump. I didn’t want to jump; I couldn’t help it.

Oh, and I can also hear when a TV is on but the sound is muted. Even in another room. There is some really small, high-pitched electronic-y noise that comes from TVs that I’ve been able to hear since I was a little kid. Sometimes I’ll be like, “that TV is still on,” even when it looks off. And sure enough, it turns out that it’s on. It’s a pretty useless superpower.

I asked my husband-since he’s known me for 10 years-if he could think of any examples of me being jumpy around noises. His answer was interesting: “You jump when you hear any loud random sound that’s unexpected. It doesn’t even have to be loud-just squeal-y or high pitched. It’s anytime anything unexpected happens to you.”

Oftentimes, I’m *thinking* about something when sudden noises occur, so the sudden noise is disturbing me and jerking me out of my train of thought. That’s why I jump. I’m jumpy.

As far as I know, there’s nothing I can do about this. I can’t prepare myself for unexpected noises.

Further reading: Here is a fantastic article about how noises affect HSPs more than others.

Filed Under: Environment, Overwhelm, Traits Tagged With: , , , ,

The Story of an HSP

September 6, 2013 by 2 Comments

Sounds about right.
source

Filed Under: Emotion, Environment, Overwhelm, Relationships, Traits Tagged With: , , ,

A solution for stinky garbage bins for us smell-sensitive people

September 5, 2013 by Leave a Comment

This is a gross story.

A few years ago, I was standing in my kitchen and I faintly smelled something. Something bad.

I said to Jim, “Do you smell that?” Of course, he says no.

Now I’m on a mission. “I swear I smell something bad. Where the heck is that coming from?” I mumbled to myself.

If you are anything like me, you know what came next. I searched every single part of the kitchen looking for this smell.

I ran the garbage disposal, sniffed over it, and even used a cleaner to make sure it didn’t smell. I opened the dishwasher and sniffed around to see if it stunk.

I thoroughly smelled almost every item the fridge, holding them to my noise to see if they were spoiled.

I swept the floor to see if any food had fallen down there. I cleaned the countertop for the same reason. I sniffed around the oven and stovetop. I looked through all the cabinets with our dry goods.

I was sniffing over every single thing in the kitchen. Where the hell was it coming from? I was losing my mind.

Eventually, I had to give up. Maybe the smell would go away. I lit some candles and tried to think about something else.

The next day, I went to heat up some leftovers in the microwave. I open the microwave, and inside, I see raw chicken that I had put in there to thaw. Two days ago. That I had forgotten.

So. Gross. Raw chicken was sitting in my microwave two days!

Segue into the point of this post…

You don’t have to be an HSP to smell raw chicken malingering in your microwave. But as an HSP, I am sensitive to smells all the time. Anytime something starts to smell in the fridge, I can smell it before anyone else, and I will go on a rampage until I find the source of the stink.

This sensitivity to bad smells in the kitchen (often coming from the garbage bin) led me and my husband to take up what might be seen as a strange habit to some: we put all perishable garbage in the freezer.

So if I’m preparing carrots, the peelings go in a plastic bag in the fridge. Empty cans, containers that used to hold raw meat, banana peels — anything that could smell bad in the garbage goes into the freezer. And we always just remember to throw it out when it’s trash day. It’s helped eliminate crazy stink searches.

photo credit: dev null via photopin cc

Filed Under: Environment, Traits Tagged With: , , , , ,
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