I’ve always thought of myself as a “night” person. Not because I like to party, but because I like staying up late after everyone else in my house is asleep.
Last night, when I was typing away at 2am, I realized why I’m a night owl.
Because late at night is the only time of the day when everything is completely quiet and peaceful. There is no one else around me. I can completely control my environment-like no TV. I have free reign over my house to really be free.
During the day, my husband knows to leave me alone when I’m working, but there is still a part of me that knows he is around and I can’t totally let myself get into my work. It’s not his fault, it’s me. When he’s asleep in bed, I have no obligations (real or perceived) to hang out with him or anything. (I have a hard time dealing when I know people are waiting for me.)
I suppose early morning would be similar in this regard. I know people who like to wake up at the crack of dawn for similar reasons.
So mystery solved… now I know why I like working so late at night. Because I have the world to myself.
My wife, despite being an “early bird” will fight tooth and nail to stay up with me. After a while, when I realize that I am going to have almost no time to myself (and I would like a month) I withdraw from talking and eventually she gets bored, I guess, and goes to bed. I feel bad saying I need my space, and lots of it, even though she knows its not personal.
Wow, I hear you. My husband has learned not to get offended when I say I need some alone time, but it often doesn’t feel like *enough* time. And sometimes when I am “alone”, I’m not really alone. Even if he is in the house, I still don’t feel completely free because I’m wondering what he’s doing or when he’s going to come to me and “want to go out” or something.
I’m not sure what the solution is….it’s not easy.
I spent lots of time trying to “crack the code” of my night owl nature. I thought I had some fundamentally different sleep phase rhythm. But when I really think about it, THIS is exactly why I stay up late.
The control, the freedom.