Coping with being a Highly Sensitive Person

Deadlines, Schedules, and Commitment Stress Me Out

September 2, 2013 by Kelly 5 Comments

Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and she described a super-HSP moment.

She was a regular during the drop-in times at the local tennis club. One day, the club announced that instead of just showing up to play (the definition of “drop-in”), members had to schedule themselves for drop-in time.

As soon as this was announced, my mom instantly felt turned off. What she liked about drop-in tennis was that the decision to go was up to her. There was no obligation-even though she ended up going almost every week. She didn’t have to answer to anyone if she didn’t show. No commitment, no pressure. And now that she felt she had to commit, she didn’t want to.

As she explained this to me on the phone, I couldn’t help but chuckle, because I completely understood what she was coming from as an HSP.

I think this is also why I dislike working in a traditional office environment. At one job, I had to log in and log out of a computer when I took lunch, so my lunch times could be tabulated. I couldn’t stand feeling like every minute of my day was being counted. For example, if I took an extra 10 minutes of lunch time, why couldn’t I just stay 10 minutes longer at the end of the day? Being held to such a strict schedule made me feel trapped and controlled.

Consider about what we know about HSPs. We don’t like feeling controlled, we don’t like having too much to do, and we don’t like feeling overwhelmed. When I have something to do on my schedule, I can’t stop thinking about it all day. Even if it’s just one thing, I base my whole day on it. And having MORE than one thing scheduled in a day? I instantly feel my stress rise.

Having a clear day with nothing to do feels like a dream. No stress, no obligations, and I can make my own decisions. Ahhhh.

Filed Under: Coping, Traits Tagged With: commitment, deadline, HSP, making decisions, schedules

Second-Guessing Decisions

August 18, 2013 by Kelly 3 Comments

“I’d like the spaghetti carbonara, please,” I told the waiter.

No sooner had the waiter turned his back when I was mumbling to my husband Jim, “Damn it. I should have gotten the dish with the red sauce instead. Argh!!”

This is soooo stuuuuuupidly common with me. I regret probably 75% of my restaurant food orders.

Why? Because HSPs are cautious decision-makers who weigh every piece of information before making a choice. Sometimes it takes us longer than “normal” to make choices. And when me, I’m usually still weighing all the information even after I’ve been pressed to make my decision.

Here’s what’s going on in my brain (and probably what’s going on in my husband’s brain) when choosing something to eat at a restaurant:

Me: Do I want pasta or meat? Will pasta be too filling? Should I get red sauce or white sauce? White sauce is so bad for you. But I haven’t had it in so long! Chicken or ham? Maybe I should get something less expensive. I want the chicken, but only if it’s not breaded. I wonder if I can get it without peppers? I should get something with more vegetables.

Him: Steak sounds good. I’m getting steak.

Filed Under: Coping, Humor, Traits Tagged With: decisions, HSP, making decisions, ordering food

Working at Night = Complete Control

August 16, 2013 by Kelly 3 Comments

I’ve always thought of myself as a “night” person. Not because I like to party, but because I like staying up late after everyone else in my house is asleep.

Last night, when I was typing away at 2am, I realized why I’m a night owl.

Because late at night is the only time of the day when everything is completely quiet and peaceful. There is no one else around me. I can completely control my environment-like no TV. I have free reign over my house to really be free.

During the day, my husband knows to leave me alone when I’m working, but there is still a part of me that knows he is around and I can’t totally let myself get into my work. It’s not his fault, it’s me. When he’s asleep in bed, I have no obligations (real or perceived) to hang out with him or anything. (I have a hard time dealing when I know people are waiting for me.)

I suppose early morning would be similar in this regard. I know people who like to wake up at the crack of dawn for similar reasons.

So mystery solved… now I know why I like working so late at night. Because I have the world to myself.

Filed Under: Coping, Work Tagged With: highly sensitive person, HSP, productivity, work