Why do I keep reading things that make me sad?
A couple months ago, I fostered a dog and ended up adopting her. It was my first experience ever caring for a pet. It was like a whole new world for me, and I found myself reading tons of online articles about dogs and watching YouTube videos on training, grooming, health….and dog rescues.
I started following a number of local dog rescues on Facebook and enjoyed hearing about animals that were found and then fostered and rehomed. It makes your heart so happy to see a neglected animal in the arms of their new family, healthy and cared for.
Then I discovered a page made specifically to help dogs at a high-kill shelter.
On this page, there are pleas for individual dogs where people can pledge money in hopes that a rescue organization will step up and get the dog out of the shelter. It’s uplifting when someone posts “Rescued!” or “Adopted!” on that particular dog’s comments.
But then, sometimes, it says “RIP”. It means the dog wasn’t saved in time. It was euthanized.
It is so hard to look at a photo of a dog and know it is dead. It makes my heart hurt.
Jim says to me, “Why the hell are you looking at this page? You just know it’s going to make you sad.” And of course, he’s right.
And I don’t really get it either. WHY do I do it? I do plan on offering to foster another dog soon (I simply can’t right now) and I love to see when dogs are saved, but why do I continue to go back to this page when I know it will make me sad because more have been killed?
Then, a few days ago….was the first one that made me cry. It was a tiny, terrified chihuahua in a cage. Normally I don’t even like chihuahuas-but the way he was imploring the camera, crouching in fear, his big black eyes so full of the desire for someone to care for him made me burst out crying and my heart ache…Because he was killed. I do have the photo of him in his cage here, if you want to see. But don’t click if you think it will make you too sad.
I just keep looking at this picture. Over and over. Looking into his eyes….like I can feel his fear. . . . .
I get angry about these high kill shelters and have fleeting, passionate thoughts about starting a rescue organization or helping at one, or finding a way to foster many more dogs, but none of those things are practical. I just don’t have the space in my house. I do think, “someday I am going to make a difference. I have to do something about this.”
I’m honestly asking you here and now: why do I keep visiting this page? Do I want to feel the hurt? What do you think?
Kelly, an HSP is a deeply caring person. You care about others’ pain and loneliness, regardless of species. I absolutely have to set limits on this stuff too. (Though human dying and grief is whay I write about, I have some kind of professional buffer.)
You must take care of yourself in this regard. Say goodbye to the puppy and know that s/he is at the Rainbow Bridge.
Deborah recently posted…He’s 6 But Won’t Turn 7: Joy at the mailbox
I was hoping you would comment on this post because you have a lot of experience dealing with grief. Thank you
I love the phrase “rainbow bridge”. It’s just so perfect and comforting. Still makes me sad, though…
I just found your site today and finally feel like I’ve found a “home” where people understand why I am the way I am. I had never heard the term HSP before but that is exactly what I am. Thank you so much for being a voice for people like me!
I call it emotional cutting. It’s like self-torture and you can’t seem to stop. I will find myself listening to a song that makes me sad or watching sad movies and being so overwhelmed with someone else’s sad story that I can barely go about my day. I have no idea why I do that. I used to work with racehorses and would internalize their pain and suffering like it was actually happening to me.
Deborah, how do you suggest setting limits on this sad stuff that we are seemingly drawn to?
Emotional cutting-YES. That is exactly what it is! Thank you for your comment and for this so-accurate phrase!! I am glad you like the site
Hi Kelly,
I’ve just started following your posts. This particular one got my attention because I do this too. And I have discovered that we as HSP have a high need to feel deeply. It fulfills us AND WE ARE BLESSED. And because we are humans we are cannot separate which feelings that we want to feel. God made us to feel ALL feelings. And because us HSP are deep feelers we can go from deeply feeling happiness and joy to deeply feeling sadness and hurt. We also NATURALLY want to take the pain away from others including animals. It makes us who we are.
Mathew 5:7 MSG “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care - full,’ you find yourself cared for”
And as a response to Ry about emotional cutting- Cutting is a way for unresourceful people to relieve themselves of a deeper emotional pain. It releases endorphins to feel better and have control. Is this what’s happening to some of you?
Hi Johnnie, thanks for your nice comment and for reading the site! In regards to emotional cutting, how would you recommend for someone to stop, or what is a better alternative? (my example of emotional cutting in this post was looking at pictures of dogs in a high-kill shelter.)