Karaoke Bar Neighbors? Ruh-roh.

girl-earsYesterday, my husband and I booked an apartment for a month in Chiang Mai, a city in Northern Thailand. My goal while being here is to pretty much work on my laptop all day, so we aren’t really here for sightseeing.

So….we spent most of the day riding around on a scooter, scoping out places to stay.

One of my requirements is that the apartment not be a studio. I need my quiet time and my space, so a studio would drive me nuts because it would mean we’d be in the same room all day. Most couples would be fine in a studio for the short period of a month, but not me. I simply need my own space for my sanity. So that meant our options were more limited and more expensive. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I’ve learned that I have to accept it and accommodate it.

We finally found a place and it seemed just fine.

Then night time rolled around and we soon discovered that right next door, there is an outdoor karaoke bar.

Until ONE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING on a WEEKDAY, we could clearly hear loud singing and music, even with our windows shut and the a/c on.

[Read more…]

Hot, Still Air Makes Me Feel Trapped, Like I Can’t Breathe

Claustrophobia: Extreme or irrational fear of confined places.
Cleithrophobia: The fear of being enclosed

I never identified as claustrophobic (or cleithrophic) before. I don’t know what’s happened to me the past year or so, but while traveling, I’ve come upon some instances where I’ve felt panic when I feel like I’m trapped in a situation or trapped in a place. [Read more…]

TV Characters that have HSP Traits: Sheldon Cooper

In the video below, Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory explains in detail why he must sit in a specific seat in his living room.

Quote: “In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, but not so close to cause perspiration. In this summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross breeze by opening windows near and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct or discouraging conversation, to so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.”

Sheldon is a genius, but it could be said that he has a number of personality disorders! He is very particular, and has thoroughly thought through and formed an opinion on pretty much every topic imaginable. But-just for fun-how is he like an HSP? Here are more Sheldon traits:

  • Shaken up by changes in his life
  • Has difficulty coping when interrupted
  • Sensitive to heat/cold/discomfort and wants to find a way to fix it
  • Hypersensitive to drugs/caffeine

However, he is very unlike an HSP in the emotional department. Many HSPs feel emotions deeply and are affected by the emotions of others, which is totally unlike Sheldon, who cannot pick up on social cues at all.

Who else on TV do you think displays HSP characteristics?

Sudden Noises Really Make Me Jump

A bus screeched to a stop in front of me as I waited to cross the street.
raccoon-jumpy2d
I grimaced and instinctively covered my ears.

I turned to my husband Jim and asked, “didn’t that sound hurt your ears?” No, he says. “Ugh,” I said. “It literally HURT my ears.”

A few days later, we are walking down the street and a car goes by and breaks the silece with a loud horn HONNNNK! I involuntarily let out a small yelp. And jumped a little bit. [Read more…]

The Story of an HSP

HSP traitsSounds about right.
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How to Explain Being an HSP to Your Partner

hsp_letter smallThis post is now located here.

My Heart Still Hurts from Something that Happened When I was 5…

When I was a little girl, maybe 5 years old, I visited my aunt’s house for a family get-together. She lived next to a small pond. There were lots of family members there, and all of us kids spent most of our time standing and sitting on a giant wooden raft that floated around the little pond. [Read more…]

Deadlines, Schedules, and Commitment Stress Me Out

Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and she described a super-HSP moment.

She was a regular during the drop-in times at the local tennis club. One day, the club announced that instead of just showing up to play (the definition of “drop-in”), members had to schedule themselves for drop-in time.

As soon as this was announced, my mom instantly felt turned off. What she liked about drop-in tennis was that the decision to go was up to her. There was no obligation-even though she ended up going almost every week. She didn’t have to answer to anyone if she didn’t show. No commitment, no pressure. And now that she felt she had to commit, she didn’t want to.

As she explained this to me on the phone, I couldn’t help but chuckle, because I completely understood what she was coming from as an HSP.

I think this is also why I dislike working in a traditional office environment. At one job, I had to log in and log out of a computer when I took lunch, so my lunch times could be tabulated. I couldn’t stand feeling like every minute of my day was being counted. For example, if I took an extra 10 minutes of lunch time, why couldn’t I just stay 10 minutes longer at the end of the day? Being held to such a strict schedule made me feel trapped and controlled.

Consider about what we know about HSPs. We don’t like feeling controlled, we don’t like having too much to do, and we don’t like feeling overwhelmed. When I have something to do on my schedule, I can’t stop thinking about it all day. Even if it’s just one thing, I base my whole day on it. And having MORE than one thing scheduled in a day? I instantly feel my stress rise.

Having a clear day with nothing to do feels like a dream. No stress, no obligations, and I can make my own decisions. Ahhhh.

Why Don’t People Know When to be Quiet?

librarySo I’m working on my laptop in a huge public library. It’s a giant room filled with 4-seater tables filled with people on laptops or studying.

I was the only one at my table when three people came and sat down. No big deal.

[Read more…]

Second-Guessing Decisions

Qmenu“I’d like the spaghetti carbonara, please,” I told the waiter.

No sooner had the waiter turned his back when I was mumbling to my husband Jim, “Damn it. I should have gotten the dish with the red sauce instead. Argh!!”

This is soooo stuuuuuupidly common with me. I regret probably 75% of my restaurant food orders.

Why? Because HSPs are cautious decision-makers who weigh every piece of information before making a choice. Sometimes it takes us longer than “normal” to make choices. And when me, I’m usually still weighing all the information even after I’ve been pressed to make my decision.

Here’s what’s going on in my brain (and probably what’s going on in my husband’s brain) when choosing something to eat at a restaurant:

Me: Do I want pasta or meat? Will pasta be too filling? Should I get red sauce or white sauce? White sauce is so bad for you. But I haven’t had it in so long! Chicken or ham? Maybe I should get something less expensive. I want the chicken, but only if it’s not breaded. I wonder if I can get it without peppers? I should get something with more vegetables.

Him: Steak sounds good. I’m getting steak.