A Highly Sensitive Person's Life
When you feel joy, discomfort, emotions, and empathy intensely
The Social Anxiety / Shyness / Introvert / HSP Gym has dividers between every treadmill, every stationary bike, and every weight bench-kind of like cubicles. There is an indicator light above each machine area to let you know if it’s occupied.
The gym has an app where you can see how many people are currently at the gym. Fifty people are working out right now? Hmm, I’ll just wait until later. [Read more…]
File this under “social anxiety.”
The other day, a friend rang me. I saw her name pop up on my phone.
I like this friend a lot, but I HATE talking on the phone.
I audibly groaned and felt guilty as I stared at the ringing phone and decided to ignore the call. Seriously-it’s nothing against the person. I just really really hate chatting on the phone. Damn it. I still feel bad. I should have just answered it.
I think I hate it because when your phone rings, it means you have to talk to someone RIGHT NOW. You don’t have time to mentally prepare. Whatever you are doing? You have to stop.
And now I keep putting off calling her back….I’m such a terrible friend. I wish I could just tell her, “I’m sorry, but I just really hate talking on the phone.”
Or, I could just call her back…..
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Ok, guys. I called her and we had a great chat. What was I so worked up for??
I guess it was just the anticipation that was the bad part.
Introversion and high sensitivity often get lumped together. It’s estimated that 70% of HSPs are introverts (source), so I can see how it is easy to get them confused. If you aren’t sure of the difference, hopefully this post will help make things a bit clearer.
Introversion is all about energy. When introverts are around people, they expend energy. Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from being around people. That doesn’t mean introverts dislike social settings-just that it takes energy from them, and they will likely need to limit their social time or seek recuperation later on. [Read more…]
Going through old boxes of stuff at my parents’ house, I found this progress report from a religion class I attended in first grade, when I was about 6 years old. Classic!!!
Brainstorming is played out. Does anyone really use it as a way to solve problems anymore? It seems as out-of-touch as dial-up modems and AOL. There must be better ways to solve problems while harnessing the power of a bunch of brains at once, but how?
Recent articles on Inc.com and Fast Company laud brainswarming, which is like brainstorming but without all the extroverts trying to talk over each other. A problem is presented, and everyone writes down their ideas and stuff. There’s more to it, but that’s it on the most basic level.
Brainswarming is great because during regular brainstorming sessions in the good ol’ conference room, the shyer people and introverts tended to keep their ideas to themselves, and their great ideas wouldn’t get heard. HSPs & introverts also prefer to ponder things for a while, rather than spouting ideas immediately.
This is a problem because, as the most awesome Susan Cain quote goes: “There is zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”
(BTW, I didn’t even have to google that quote. True Susan Cain fangirl, right here.)
I like problem solving. I feel like figuring things out in my life is a brainteaser-a challenge. And I think that’s also why I like brainswarming. It’s a more efficient, smart way to solve problems.
If you’re interested in learning more, I highly recommend checking out the Inc.com and Fast Company articles.
Thanks to Catalina for telling me about brainswarming!
I like parties, but I like them under my terms! I am an introvert, and after a certain amount of time around people, I run out of energy and get cranky and want to go home and be alone. Yadda yadda yadda. You know all this stuff already.
But, my husband is an extrovert and loves being around people. Rut-roh. [Read more…]
Are you struggling to find a gift for an introverted, highly sensitive friend, spouse, co-worker, or family member? Then this list is for you. Featured here are practical presents for those of us who are overwhelmed by social and environment stimuli, sensitive to temperature, uncomfortable in the workplace, and who cherish solitude and peace. Presenting: the Highly Sensitive Person & Introvert Gift Guide!
I saw something worth sharing on the Introvert subreddit on Reddit today.
Someone asked how to explain being an introvert to her boyfriend. She didn’t know how to get him to understand that she needed alone time, and that he shouldn’t take it personally.
The reply of what she should say to him is in the head graphic here.
This is so on-point! There are times when my husband and I are in the same room but we are doing different things-maybe I’m using the computer and he’s watching TV. I shouldn’t be thinking about his feelings, but I can’t help it. I’m wondering if he’s hungry or if he’s going to want to go out later, or things like that.
The only time I’m free from having to think about someone else is when I’m completely alone.
HSPs generally perform poorly when being watched, and yeah, I can totally confirm this.
One of my old bosses would sometimes stand right over me and watch me while I did things on the computer. It was so insufferable that I called him out on it. I probably said something sarcastic like, “Are you really going to stand on top of me while I do this?” Or, “I can’t do this if you are going to stand there and watch me.” Fortunately, we had a pretty relaxed relationship so this didn’t offend him. I think he found it amusing that it bothered me.
When someone like a manager or boss is watching me do something, I completely freeze up. I cannot perform. And how can I explain this, when it happens? I appear incompetent when I freeze up like that. I look like I can’t do the work, just because I’m nervous about being stared at.
At another job, I worked in one room with two other people. It was an office meant for one person, but they stuffed three of us in there. We all had our own desks. One day, we had to all move to a different office, so the 3 of us had to figure out where to put our individual desks within that room. The other 2 people wanted to face the window, whereas my only suggestion was that I didn’t want my desk facing a direction where someone else would be facing me all day. That would have made me go nuts.
My officemates were, understandably, happy that they got the window view without argument, and I got to face the wall like a crazy person.
A few months later, I expressed to my boss that I would rather work in a cubicle. No one could believe that I would give up being in an office (AHEM, shared with 2 other people!) to have my own private cube. In a cube, I felt that I would at least have the privacy of knowing no one was looking at me. Just that tiny little bit of privacy seemed so appealing. I felt like I could make it through the day more easily and be less distracted that way. And you know what? They were nice enough to move me to a cubicle!
So, my point-if there is one-is that if you are unhappy in your work environment, you should 1) speak up about what you want to HR. There are rules and laws and stuff that mean they usually have to listen to you, and 2) you are going to have to grow a tougher skin because your co-workers and managers might not “get” why you need what you need.
But if you are able to finagle a better working environment for yourself, that’s all that matters in the long run. The embarrassment of having to ask for it will wear off.
I’m learning every day how to better manage my needs as a person with high sensitivity and introversion. Like I always say, folks, it’s about acknowledging, accepting, and adjusting!
I do feel frustrated and even mad at myself sometimes because I have to do so many things that aren’t “normal” just to feel comfortable. I wish I was “normal”. I wish so many little things didn’t bother me. But they DO, and that’s just how it is. [sigh] [Read more…]
Simply learning about what it means to be an HSP can change the way you see yourself and your place within the world.
