A Highly Sensitive Person's Life
When you feel joy, discomfort, emotions, and empathy intensely
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Many of us want to change our career to something more fulfilling and with less stress. And we see loads of success stories from other people who have learned to leverage their skills to make money working for themselves, freelancing, or starting an online business.
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Have you ever thought about just quitting your job because you were overwhelmed? Throwing in the towel because you had too much to do, and couldn’t get it all done?
Did you ever think about caring less?
That’s a pretty radical concept for us HSPs. It goes against everything we feel. We’re generally loyal, hard workers who care deeply about what we do. But our conscientiousness can bleed over into perfectionism, and when we can’t meet our impossible standards, we’d sometimes rather quit than underperform.
In episode 6 of the HSP Podcast, I talk about how caring less can make your job more bearable….and won’t hurt you as much as you might think.
Or read the written version of this episode at Quiet Revolution.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Related Posts on This Blog:
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Podcast music attribution: Bust This Bust That (Professor Kliq) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0
An updated version of this post is published at QuietRev.com.Years ago, when I moved from my small hometown in Michigan to New York, I took administrative temp work to get my “foot in the door” and get a full-time job.
One of my temp assignments left me especially miserable. The person managing me would hurl insults at another employee. The job-stuffing envelopes-was brain-meltingly boring. And of course, as an HSP, all this affected me greatly.
I got home and (surprise!) complained about it to my husband.
I remember that he said, matter-of-factly, “Call your temp agency and quit the assignment. It’s not worth you being miserable.”
My first reaction was, “I can’t do that!” I committed to the assignment. They were counting on me! I don’t quit things.
Then he asked me: What’s more important? My mental health or finishing a temp job for some company that couldn’t care less about me?
He was right. There was no reason for me to care so much about this job. So what if my quitting inconveniences the company or the temp agency? Who cares?
“Number One” is yourself. Ultimately, your workplace doesn’t really care about you. You are replaceable. You have to look out for your HSP-self first and stop worrying about everyone and everything else.
A few months ago, a friend was struggling at work. She was overwhelmed by too many responsibilities and was ready to quit. I posed the question to her: “What would happen if you didn’t get all your work done on time? What if you couldn’t finish all the tasks?” And her response was something like, “I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world…” But I could tell that she wouldn’t even consider letting some things slip through the cracks. She was a hard worker who cared about her performance.
I told her, “You are ready to quit your job. What will it hurt to try caring less first? If you can care less, then you won’t feel so stressed about not getting everything done. Just do the best you can. That’s all you can do.”
Look. I know you care deeply about details, my HSP friend, but please remember that worrying and stressing about your job isn’t productive. You probably care more about your job than many people do; you are loyal, committed, and hard-working. But when you stress because you feel like you aren’t doing good work, or that you are behind on a project, ask yourself, “Who cares?” Hopefully this will help you put it all into perspective and take a little stress off your shoulders.
Simply learning about what it means to be an HSP can change the way you see yourself and your place within the world.
