HSP Podcast Episode 20: Anticipatory Grief

November 25, 2014 by 10 Comments

Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS

anticipatory griefAnticipatory grief is a grief reaction that occurs before an impending loss, typically, the death of someone close to you. This episode is about how us HSPs can experience this grief more than others, and not just about death.

If you like the podcast, please leave a positive review on iTunes!

Sign up for the twice-monthly newsletter to be notified of the latest blog posts, podcast episodes, and HSP news.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related posts on this blog:

Do you like the show?

patreon blog image

If you enjoy my podcast and blog, if you find it helpful, uplifting, or entertaining, that’s awesome! Would you consider giving just $1 per episode? It would allow me to continue making these shows every week. Check out my Patreon page to see how it works. You can get special rewards, too!

Note: All podcast and blog content is free, as always, I’m just asking for support!

Podcast music attribution: By the Coast (2004) (Antony Raijekov) / CC BY-NC 2.5

Filed Under: Emotion, Podcast Tagged With: , , ,

Anticipatory Grief

November 7, 2014 by 27 Comments

griefAnticipatory grief is a grief reaction that occurs before an impending loss, typically, the death of someone close to you. Anyone can experience it.

But for HSPs, anticipatory grief can be more than that. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Coping, Emotion, Relationships Tagged With: , , , ,

Empathy toward other people’s loss

October 22, 2014 by 5 Comments

Us HSPs pick up on the emotions of others, including pain and sadness. It can stay with us and bother us more than others.

There are tons of examples I could talk about, but one popped into my head the other day. It was something I haven’t really thought about in over fifteen years, and it was interesting to examine it all over again in the lens of high sensitivity. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Emotion, Traits Tagged With: , , , ,

Robin Williams, Suicide, and Depression

August 11, 2014 by 7 Comments

I was shocked and saddened when I heard that Robin Williams ended his life, as I’m sure we all were.

I wasn’t an especially huge fan of his, but I liked the guy. He’s been around my entire life. I remember watching Mork and Mindy as a kid.

To hear that someone ended their life makes me hurt. Because I think-imagine how incredibly bad someone must be hurting to take such a drastic step. The raw, sharp, suffocating pain that must cloud their every moment, to where they feel like they can’t go on another second, that the only escape is to end their life. To end the pain. To be done with this. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Emotion Tagged With: , , , , ,

Emotional cutting: reading things that make me sad

July 30, 2014 by 16 Comments

emotional cuttingA couple months ago, I fostered a dog and ended up adopting her. It was my first experience ever caring for a pet. It was like a whole new world for me, and I found myself reading tons of online articles about dogs and watching YouTube videos on training, grooming, health….and dog rescues.

I began following a number of local dog rescues on Facebook and enjoyed hearing about animals that were found, fostered, and adopted. It makes your heart feel full to see a neglected animal in the arms of their new family, healthy and cared for.

Then I discovered a page made specifically to help dogs at a high-kill shelter.

On this page, there are pleas for individual dogs where people can pledge money in hopes that a rescue organization will get the dog out of the shelter. It’s uplifting when someone posts “Rescued!” or “Adopted!” on that particular dog’s comments.

But then, sometimes, it says “RIP”. It means the dog wasn’t saved in time. It was euthanized.

It is so hard to look at a photo of a dog and know it is dead. It makes my heart hurt.

Jim says to me, “Why are you looking at this page? You just know it’s going to make you sad.” And of course, he’s right.

And I don’t really get it either. WHY do I do it? I plan on fostering another dog soon, and I love to see when dogs are saved, but why do I continue to go back to this page when I know it will make me sad because more have been killed?

Then, a few days ago….was the first one that made me cry. It was a tiny, terrified chihuahua in a cage. Normally, I’m not a big fan of chihuahuas, but the way he was imploring the camera, crouching in fear, his big black eyes so full of the desire for someone to care for him made me burst out crying and my heart ache…Because he was killed. I saved that photo of him in his cage here, if you want to see. But don’t click if you think it will make you too sad, since he is now gone.

I just keep looking at this picture. Over and over. Looking into his eyes….like I can feel his fear. . . . .

I get angry about these high kill shelters and have fleeting, passionate thoughts about starting a rescue organization or volunteering at one, or finding a way to foster many more dogs, but none of those things are practical. I do think, “someday I am going to make a difference. I have to do something about this.”

Why do I keep visiting this page? Do I want to feel the hurt?

An anonymous commenter on this blog left some great insight that helped me understand why I do this.

Looking at photos of dogs on the dog rescue Facebook pages confirms to myself that it is an important issue to me-and the pain functions as the sign that it is important.

Regarding the chihuahua-I didn’t want his life to be invisible. I didn’t want him to die without anybody caring about his life and death. His sadness and pain didn’t disappear when he died; I felt it for him.

Filed Under: Emotion Tagged With: , , , ,

HSPs and Depression

February 23, 2014 by 8 Comments

Is there a connection between depression and being highly sensitive?

According to Dr. Elaine Aron’s research: Yes and No; it depends.

To super-simplify: If an HSP grew up in a non-supportive environment, they are more likely to be depressed. If an HSP grew up in a supportive environment, it’s less likely they will be depressed.

To go further….

HSPs can be more prone to depression if:

  • The HSP grew up with chaos, trauma, and dysfunction in their family.
  • If the HSP is unaware of the trait and does not have a self-care plan. Without knowledge about the trait, an HSP can find themselves in a chronic state of overstimulation which would then lead to too much cortisol in the system, which can then lead to depression and/or anxiety.
  • The HSP is in an unhealthy environment. (source)

It is NOT more likely, if

  • The HSP grew up in a supportive and “secure” family.
  • The HSP has accepted the trait as a positive and has adequate self-care.

IT DEPENDS, if:

  • There is a history of depression in one’s family (genetically caused).

If an HSP doesn’t know that they are highly sensitive, they may be self-critical and wonder “why can’t I be like everyone else?”

If an HSP is aware of their sensitivity, they can plan their life in the best way to avoid overstimulation and scenarios that make them feel drained and unsettled. It is essential for HSPs to learn about the trait so they can find their own stasis of peace.

Depression is a dense topic that deserves more than a single blog post. This is just a basic, simplified overview of the accepted research on whether high sensitivity is related to depression.

Check out my post on 7 ways to deal with the struggles of being an HSP. There is also a fantastic list on the HSP Highlights & Insights Newsletter blog of the best ways to thrive as an HSP. It discusses how to create your own “HSP Owners Manual”. I found it helpful and hope you do, too.

I wrote more about empathy for people suffering from depression in my post about Robin Williams and this one about Sophia Yin and compassion fatigue.

Filed Under: Coping, Emotion Tagged With: , , , ,